Kalye 69

Size Matters - More to Men

2011-12-05T04:23:00.000-08:00

Sigmund Freud, the father of Psychiatry, said that men had a sexual thought consciously or subconsciously every 3 seconds. He timed it like a racehorse when he wasn't busy having sexual relations with his mother. Psychiatrists go to school for 22 years, subject themselves to years of Psychotherapy, then sit while you ramble and beg for advice for 45 minutes, only to say at the end, "What do you think? I'm afraid our time is up for this week." You could go insane merely from their torture tactics.

Obviously penis size matters to a woman. Penises range in size from 1' to 14" on men. The longer and wider and harder the penis, the more friction is created, the deeper the penetration, and the more likely the woman is to achieve vaginal orgasm. However other things are more important to a woman, such as extended foreplay, clitoral stimulation to orgasm, g spot stimulation to orgasm, and length of time after intercourse before the man hails a cab, generally anywhere from 5 to 7 minutes on average.
Size definitely matters to women, but it matters far more to men. Penis envy is not a female phenomenon despite the ravings of the incestuous Dr. Freud. Penis envy is a male phenomenon. Envying the length and width of the black penis is at the root of the Klu Klux Klan, says Mariah Carey. According to research done at Heidelberg University, it is a scientific fact that the purchases of Corvettes and BMW's are inversely proportional to the length of a man's penis. Men think that if they have an expensive fancy car then women will think that they are financially successful and will date them, leading other men to think that they are stacked.

The basic theme of any male Rap song and video is always the same. "I am the coolest most hung baddest dude in town and I can ride you all night long." This is always backed up by half naked stunning harem women slithering around the artist. The lack of a white boxing champion for the past 75 years since Rocky Marciano, has led white men to flock to seven sequels of the Rocky movie. Rocky is now coming out of retirement, the "Italian Stallion", for a rematch against Kanye West, who has been paid 5 million dollars to take a dive in the fifth, to soothe the wounded egos of male White America, and that's what it's all about anyway, "Ego".

The Ego is the part of the brain that either says in your mind, "I am wonderful", or "I am garbage." The "Id" is the part of your brain that says "I want food, water, sex etc." The Ego is what causes men to desire multiple partners endlessly through cyber dating, because once a woman gives in, no matter how beautiful she is, no matter how loving and caring, she has now lost the ability to give to the man the thing he wants most to boost his Ego, that initial conquest, that triggers in the man's mind, "I am great, I conquered her." Men need this to compensate for wounded Egos received at the hands of their insecure fathers, because criticism and control make the father feel great, to compensate for their own reality, unfulfilled wives due to their tiny narrow limp phallus. This is the root cause of the male mid life crisis, leading to divorce and insecure offspring because the male now needs a young wife the same way that he needs a Corvette. Have you ever noticed the shape of a Corvette

This would all be bad enough but size issues are at the root of male competitiveness in both sports and war. Kim Jong Il, the mini me leader of North Korea has a stable of gorgeous young blonde American women, to make up for his tiny thang. "That's all you got, baby?" Those words led to the swift execution of a one hit wonder American Diva who was all into the Grace Kelly thing. This would be bad enough, but the development of nuclear weapons and the verbal bravado of this midget against the United States is directly linked to the madman midget's size insecurity. Ironically midgets are generally very well endowed in proportion to their body size, and this is why they have such confidence. A well known self confidence building mantra used extensively by the Moonies, is "My rooster is huge and hard, and I can ride you all night long." The problem has become so bad, that erectile dysfunction has become the third leading growth industry worldwide, and men are running for medication named after the enormous gushing of the massive powerful power generating Niagara Falls, even knowing that it causes a rare but pervasive form of blindness.

Martha Stewart has a solution for this insecurity problem which is now leading us all into the Apocalypse, the sudden violent end of all life on Earth forever. The Christian people are eagerly constructing and waiting for the Apocalypse, so that when it comes, after about 30 seconds, they can all say as One, "Look, we were right!" This need to be right, and this unbearable pain of being wrong, is a direct result of penis insecurity. Martha's solution is that all men be forced to wear their bag and their bone on their foreheads, for all to see, to instantly put an end to all the b/s and bluffing leading us all into the nuclear inferno. Oprah seconds the motion. She has the most to lose, according to Dr. Phil, the bald barking know it all with the 3 inch penis. Our modern Dr. Freud wears a sock folded in his pants to hide his shortcomings. Maybe an international naked at work day is the answer for saving life on earth. Maybe the Apocalypse won't be that bad. At least it will put an end to the zillions of Erectile Dysfunction (medications for 1 inch shriveled up things that refuse to stand up no matter how much kiddy porn the man watches) emails in our email boxes. How do these snake oil salesmen get our addresses anyways? Why aren't they all blind yet? The insecurity disease has now spread to women rushing for breast implants, and to the male obsession with increasing their Google Page Ranking. Have you ever noticed the graphic that Sergey Brin and Larry Page use to display that ranking? They didn't become zillionaires at 32 by being oblivious to the male fixation with size now, did they?

Rebecca Linares Sex

2011-01-03T20:46:00.000-08:00

Child Abuse

2011-01-03T20:30:00.000-08:00

Teacher and Student

2010-11-29T21:00:00.000-08:00

Tak Muat

2010-11-29T20:55:00.000-08:00

Aaaaah.... Saraaap!!!

2010-11-29T20:46:00.000-08:00

Bastos Ba Ito?

2010-11-22T20:15:00.000-08:00

Out Of Athens

2010-11-15T21:28:00.000-08:00

Low

2010-10-11T03:34:00.000-07:00

Darang Part 1

2010-09-21T00:29:00.000-07:00

I Like it

2010-09-20T21:51:00.000-07:00

UC Scandal

2010-09-20T21:47:00.000-07:00

Dreamwalker

2010-09-20T21:27:00.000-07:00

Eating Glory Hole

2010-06-28T23:55:00.000-07:00

Ang Laro Ng Buhay Ni Juan

2010-06-12T01:44:00.000-07:00

Sperm Eater

2010-05-01T09:52:00.001-07:00

Find Great Coupon Offers For Free

2010-04-23T07:43:00.001-07:00

Find Great Coupon Offers For Free

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Super PTC Downline Builder!

2010-04-22T07:22:00.001-07:00

Super PTC Downline Builder!&U-Get NAME$ & EMAIL$!

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You Can Earn Extra Money Clicking Ads

2010-04-20T06:15:00.001-07:00

You Can Earn Extra Money Clicking Ads

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First Acknowledgment Post

2010-02-19T03:00:00.000-08:00

Wala pa po tayong isang linggo sa ating promo but as of today Feb. 19, 2010 naka-labing isang referral na po tayo who registered in the top 5 PTC sites. Eto po yun sila:

1. tiger2010
2. cutiemar
3. zanc10
4. neon87
5. kirimoca
6. taradatching
7. bukining
8. lucabhunk
9. jay09
10. kradam
11. 3smary

Paalala lang po. Meron po tayong pagbabago sa ating top 5 ptc. Papalitan po natin yung upbux dahil may problema sa admin at yung forum lang nila ang nag-oopen. Hindi nga ako makapag-login. Ipapalit po natin yung pinoyclicks.info. Kay username kradam naman, bro paki email mo lang ako sa ireachallbug@yahoo.com ano pa yung sites pinagregitered mo? Kasi base sa aking checklist, nasa trekpay at companybux ka lang registered. Saan ka pa ba nagregister maliban sa dalawa? Don't be offend bro, ha? Kina-clarify ko lang kasi sayang naman yung effort nyo if you do not follow instructions, di ba?
So ito lang masasabi ko. Sa lahat ng nagregister, tuloy-tuloy lang kayong magki-click hanggang sa maka100 click kayo. At bago ko makalimutan, gusto kong magpasalamat sa inyo in joining the promo at kahit yung iba sa email lang nagsasabi dahil ayaw mag-comment dito, at least dun pa lang alam ko nang may nagsusubaybay sa akin dito sa blog na ito. nahihiya daw silang magcomment. Hayaan nyo po. Pagdating ng araw at natanggap nyo na ang VCD nyo, baka maglakip ako ng invitation for my wedding. okey po ba yun? Pero iisipin ko pa yun ha? Baka sakali lang naman... O siya ano po... Thank you sa first batch na nagregister at baka next week may bago na naman akong i-popost. Happy clicking...

Macho Dancer

2010-02-16T04:17:00.000-08:00

Promo Mechanics

2010-02-14T08:52:00.000-08:00

1. Unang-una, huwag niyong isipin na mayroon akong hilingin sa inyong anumang cash para mapasa-inyo ang isang copy ng VCD of your choice. Wala po akong hihingin sa inyo ni isang kusing. Pero isipin nyo, papa'no ko naman ito maipapadala sa inyo if there's no cash involved? Saan ako kukuha ng perang gagamitin kong pambayad for the shipping and handling fee? Lalo na ngayong kailangan kong mag-ipon for my wedding. kaya ito po ang naisip ko. Simple lamang po ito. Ang kailangan nyo lang ay tyaga at oras. At the bottom side of this blog, makikita nyo ang sangkatutak na PTC Banners. I'm just a newly registered po sa lahat ng PTC banners na yan. Para maging qualified kayo sa promo, kailangan nyo lang magregister sa limang PTC Sites. Lima lang po ang hinihingi ko para sa isang VCD. Anyway, libre lang naman ang pagsali at pag-sign up ng account sa mga Sites na ito. Kikita pa kayo. At ito ay ang mga sumusunod:

1.

Sa limang ito kailangan nyong mag-register with my username "cabrill1378" as your referrer.

2. Para mag-register, click n'yo lang isa-isa ang top 5 PTC Sites na pinili ko. Kailangan iisa lang ang gamit n'yong username para madali kong ma-check ang mamonitor ang bawat isa sa inyo. At tandaan, cabrill1378 ang referrer nyo.

3. Hangga't maaari araw-araw kayong magki-click ng ads sa limang PTC sites na ito.

4. Kailangan nyo lang ay makapag-click kayo ng ads for about 100 times bawat isang sites. Madali lang naman ang pag-earn. Sundin nyo lang instructions ng mga PTC sites na ito. It only takes 30 - 60 seconds per ads you click. Kailangan nyo lang tapusin yung timer na binigay nila para succesful yung earnings nyo. Yung trekpay lang ang walang timer kaya kahit 5 seconds lang pwede nyo ng i-close yung ads ang open for another one.

5. As your referrer, na-momonitor ko kung nakamagkanong earnings na kayo bawat PTC sites at nakailang clicks kayo sa isang araw. Kaya 'pag umabot na kayo ng 100 clicks of ads per site within a month (Depende kasi yan kung madalas kayong nagki-click), email me agad in this address "ireachallbug@yahoo.com" o di kaya ay magleave kayo ng message or comments sa pinaka-latest posts ko para ma-check ko agad ang earnings nyo. Liwanagin ko lang, yung earnings nyo hindi ako makikinabang nyan, ha? Sa inyo yan. Pinaghirapan nyo yan kaya kayo lang dapat ang makinabang nyan. Ang sa aking lang ay mabigyan ko ng reward kung sino yung unang maka-100 clicks ng ads per site.

6. Sa emails nyo kailangan i-inform nyo sa akin your username, VCD na gusto nyo (pili lang kayo sa left side ng blog ko "Free Pinoy Gay Videos"), real name at address nyo kung saan ipapadala ko ang items nyo.

7. Bawat isa na makakatanggap ay ipopost ko dito ang usernames at nang ma-acknowledge ko naman. First come first serve basis lamang po tayo. Kung sino yung unang maka 100 clicks ng ads per sites, siya yung unang makakapili sa item na gusto nya. Anyway i-a-update ko naman kung alin sa mga ito ang sold out na upang makapamili kayo kung alin pa ang available.

8. Kung gusto nyo nang dalawang VCD titles, mag-register ulit kayo ng another 5 PTC sites sa ibaba. Dagdag kita nyo naman yun kung tutuusin. Ganun din ang bilang ng clicks ang requirement ko (100 clicks) para makakuha kayo ng another items. Basta wag nyo lang kalimutan ilagay sa referrer nyo cabrill1378.

Kung may tanong pa kayo at hindi masyadong maliwanag sa inyo ang mechanics ko, feel free to email me at ireachallbug@yahoo.com.

Libreng VCD

2010-02-12T13:16:00.000-08:00

Sa wakas eto na yung promo na sinasabi ko. Madali lang ito mga 'tol. Pasensiya na nga pala dun sa mga naghihintay at medyo po tayo ay natatagalan ng konti. Pero sabi ko naman diba, hindi tayo aabot ng isang linggo makakapagsimula na tayo. Ang promo na ito ay opisyal na magsisimula ngayong February 15, 2010, at matatapos until supply last. Wala po tayong tiyak na petsa kung kelan ito matatapos. Maaaring sa madalian, maaari ring matatagalan. At bakit ko sinabing 'Promo is good until supply last?”. Dahil po totoong items ang ipamimigay ko. Walang download na kailangan. Wala kayong babayaran ni isang kusing. Matatanggap nyo ang regalo ko at mahahawakan ng buong-buo.
Ano nga ba ang regalo ko? Naku, hindi naman po ito kalakihan. But I assure you puno ito ng “kalalakihan”. Hehe! Medyo jologs po ang dating pero sulit naman. Mamimigay lang naman po ako ng mga original VCD’s. Take note! Original po ang mga ito, hindi pirated. At ano bang klaseng VCD’s yan? Tulad nga ng sabi ko, puno ito ng “kalalakihan”. Ito yung mga pinoy indie movies direct to video. Yung iba naman naipalabas na sa mga sinehan. VCD po lahat ito. Walang DVD. Dahil VCD lang po ang kaya ng bulsa ko. Collection ko po ito na ngayon ay halos umabot na ng 50 piraso. Marahil magtataka kayo bakit ko naman ito ipamimigay. Nangongolekta ako tapos ipinamimigay ko nang ganun ganun lang? Masakit po kung tutuusin dahil sa halagang 199 hanggang 299 pesos bawat isa, ilang libo na rin yun kung iipunin. Pero hindi lang yung presyo ang masakit kaya ako nanghihinayang. Kundi dahil nakasanayan ko na ang ganoong Gawain. Hindi madali ang mangolekta nang ganun kadaming copies ng palabas, huh! Pero sa gitna ng katotohanang nangongolekta ako nang mga ganun, walang alam ang pamilya ko na may ganun ako kadaming lihim sa sulok ng aking cabinet.
Pagkatapos ipamimigay ko nang ganun ganun lang? Pero totoo. Hindi po dahil sa nagsasawa na ako sa kakapanood. Dahil hanggat maaari ayaw kong bitawan ang mga yun. Ang kaso, dumating na tayo sa panahon kung saan kailangan na nating lumagay sa tahimik. At kailangan na nating mamili kung para saan at kung para kanino talaga tayo. Opo. Malapit napo akong grumadweyt sa pagka-dalaga, este, sa pagka-binata. Sa madaling salita, ikakasal napo ako. Mag-aasawa na ako sa isang babae- sa isang tunay na babae.!
Siguro nakuha nyo na ang ibig kong sabihin. At bago dumating ang araw kung saan hindi na ako mag-iisa sa aking silid at makakasama ko na ang magiging asawa ko, kailangan linisin ko muna ang kwartong yun. Bago dumating ang buwan nang Hunyo, kailangan ko nang maidispatsa lahat ng mga nakatagong lihim (may lihim bang hayag?) sa sulok na yun. Kaya dito ko naisip na imbis na sunugin o itapon nang palihim ang mga yun, mas mabuti pa kung ipamimigay ko na lang sa mga taong walang nakakakilala sa akin. At dito sa blog na ito ko naisip ipamahagi ang mga yun. Dahil alam ko marami pa sa ating mga kapatid ang hindi pa nakapanood ng mga palabas na ito lalo na sa mga probinsya at bihira lang makapanood ng sine sa lalawigan.
Sa susunod ko na post malalaman ninyo kung paano nyo makuha nang libre ang mga videos na ayon sa gusto ninyo. Sa kasalukuyan ay patuloy ko pang pinag-aralan ang mekaniks upang marami, kung hindi man lahat ay makikinabang at mabibigyan ko nang kasiyahan. ABANGAN!

Student Teacher Part 2

2010-02-09T06:50:00.000-08:00

Ang video na ito ay handog ko para kay KAMOTE. Eto na ang part 2 na hinahanap mo. Tsaka antayin mo yung promo ko. Malapit na. Since ikaw ang unang nagpost ng comment sa post ko na yun, eto yung bonus ko sa'yo. Enjoy!!!

originally post by eternal_summer

Thomas From Active Duty

2010-02-09T06:42:00.000-08:00

Ewan ko ba kung anong pinaggagawa ng taong 'to sa kanyang sarili... kaya nyo ba dilaan daliri nyo galing sas puwet? Yuckzzz talaga. But anyway, just enjoy watching...

originally post by charlie03

Hung Showerboy

2010-02-09T06:25:00.000-08:00

Hay naku! Ito na yata ang pinakamagandang video na nai-post ko. Ang ganda ng background music at ang gagaling ng mga porn actors... Sa eksenang ito sa shower marami akong naaalala in terms of my sexcapades. At sa tuwing nagsa-shower ako lagi kong naaalala ang eksenang ito. Alam nyo po ba kung bakit? Hehe. Dito ko kasi unang nalasap ang ligaya dulot ng sex. Dito ako unang na-devirginize. Pero hindi ako yung tinitira sa likod ha. Ako yung tumitira sa likod. kung sino man ang taong yung unang nakatikim sa akin.... swerte niya... haha.

originally post by pure1968

Surprise para sa lahat...

2010-02-06T02:56:00.000-08:00

Magandang balita guys... may naisip akong paraan para makabawi naman sa patuloy ninyong pagsubaybay nitong munti kong blog na ito at sa patuloy pa rin ninyong pagsusubaybay sa mga darating pang mga araw, buwan o taon.
Next week magbibigay ako ng isang napakagandang bagay na hindi nyo makakalimutan sa buong buhay nyo. Hindi ko pa muna ito masasabi sa ngayon sapagkat iniisip ko pa kung paano ang proseso at pinaghahandaan ko pa ito nang maige, nang sa gayon ay mapagbibigyan ko ang lahat kung maari. pinakamatagal na ang isang linggo. Basta patuloy lang kayong nandito at baka bukas o sa makalawa malalaman nyo na kung ano ang ibig kong sabihin. Exciting 'to. Tiyak kong lahat ay matutuwa...
Handa na ba kayo?
At para naman matuwa ako at ma-e-excite na rin, comments naman kayo sa post ko na ito nang sa ganun ay baka kung sino unang mag-comment ay siya pang unang mabibigyan ko ng regalo... Hanggang dito na lamang po muna... Thanks..

Student Teacher

2010-02-03T05:28:00.000-08:00

Live Sex Show

2010-02-03T05:24:00.000-08:00

Marines

2010-02-03T05:18:00.000-08:00

Military Bed Fuck

2010-02-03T05:11:00.000-08:00

Straight Guys

2010-01-28T20:07:00.001-08:00

First rate Guy Chunk

2010-01-28T19:57:00.000-08:00

Locker Buds

2010-01-28T19:52:00.000-08:00

I would like to dedicate this video to my friend in negros or. Noy, here's a video for you.

Nagpavideo si Kuya

2010-01-22T07:11:00.000-08:00

Piolo Pascual Look A Like

2010-01-18T01:54:00.000-08:00

Sa tingin nyo si piolo ba talaga to?

Hayden And Unknown Girl

2009-07-17T00:48:00.000-07:00

Pinoy Scandal Collection 7

2009-07-17T00:46:00.000-07:00

Pinoy Scandal Collection 6

2009-07-17T00:45:00.000-07:00

Pinoy Scandal Collection 5

2009-07-17T00:44:00.000-07:00

Pinoy Scandal Collection 4

2009-07-17T00:43:00.000-07:00

Jerk In Bed

2009-07-17T00:37:00.000-07:00

Pinoy Scandal Collection 2

2009-07-17T00:29:00.000-07:00

Pinoy Scandal Collection 1

2009-07-17T00:28:00.000-07:00

Pinoy Scandal Collection 3

2009-07-17T00:25:00.000-07:00

Teen Sucked by Gay

2009-07-17T00:21:00.001-07:00

Bugoy Ka Talaga!!!

2009-07-06T07:26:00.000-07:00

Gerald Anderson Dukot Boy

2009-06-25T21:09:00.000-07:00

Double Cum

2009-06-25T20:51:00.000-07:00

jackoff

2009-06-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

Walong Putok

2009-06-16T08:06:00.000-07:00

bilangin nyong mabuti... walo ba talaga?

Isang Basong Tamod

2009-06-16T07:57:00.000-07:00

kapani-paniwala ba? kaya nyo bang lunukin ang ganito karaming tamod?

josh ivan morales

2009-05-30T21:27:00.000-07:00

dancing hot guy

2009-05-01T00:23:00.000-07:00

m2m masahe scandal

2009-04-29T23:19:00.000-07:00

Heavenly Touch Trailer

2009-04-29T23:15:00.000-07:00

funk

2009-04-29T22:06:00.000-07:00

Erotic Dudes

2009-03-04T18:55:00.000-08:00

hello guys... mustah ang tagal ko nang di nakapag-post nang vids dito. sorry for very long time na hindi tayo nagkakasama. But anyway eto .. may bago na naman ihahandog sa inyo... Enjoy watching.... worldpeace..

Papalit-palit, Palipat-lipat

2009-01-24T23:47:00.002-08:00

papalit2palit1

Grabe, nakakatuwa talaga ang mundo. Kanina I was just browsing Facebook. Dahil feature ng Facebook yung nagsa-suggest ng “People You May Know” I saw the profile of this guy, let’s call him Allen. What made me smile was that his profile pic was a very sweet image of him and his girlfriend. Let me repeat that. GIRLfriend. Babae ang karelasyon nito. Babae. Girlalu, obaryo, fallopian tube, bilat, vagina monologue. I whispered to myself, “ahhh… babae na pala talaga ang gusto niya ngayon.” Napangiti talaga ako, kasi naman, may history ito. Officemate ko kasi dati yang si Allen. Ang nakakatuwa nito, kilala ko na siya bago ko pa man siya naging officemate. At alam ko na ang likaw ng bituka niya.

Schoolmate niya ang jowa ko noon (na tatawagin nating Jowa sa salaysay na ito). Sa UP Diliman sila pareho nag-aral. Sa isang subject na nag-require sa kanila na magsulat ng isang position paper, kinailangan nilang maghanap ng ka-partner. Sa madaling salita, si Jowa at si Allen ang naging magka-partner.

Si Jowa at si Allen ay parehong lalakeng-lalake. Sa pagkilos, pananamit, at pagsasalita. Kaya walang problema. Pero si Jowa, may kakaibang talento sa pang-amoy. Anlakas ng radar niya, ng tinatawag na gaydar. Walang senyales pero pakiramdam niya noon, may kakaibang hilig si Allen. Hindi lang talaga niya ma-confirm. Pero tulad ng inaasahan, nauwi ang project na ito sa mga overnight-overnightan. Doon niya nakilala ng husto si Allen, pati na ang misteryo sa likod ng macho guwapitong imahe nito. Mahilig din pala siya sa mga guwapo.

Sa mga overnight-overnightan nila nangyari ang mga dapat mangyari. Kaya’t ayon kay Jowa, tunay na kabaro ang kanyang kaklaseng si Allen. Nagpatuloy ang kanilang sexcapades, even after matapos i-submit ang position paper. Natigil lang ito ng mabalitaan ni Jowa na nagka-girlfriend si Allen. At ito ay si Cheryl, ang babaeng bestfriend ni Jowa. Walang problema yun kay Jowa. Inintindi na lamang niya na baka dala lang ng bugso ng pagnanasa ang mga namagitan sa kanila ni Allen. Hindi sinabi ni Jowa kay Cheryl ang nakaraan nila ni Allen. Pero pagkatapos lamang ng ilang buwan, nag-break din sina Allen at Cheryl. Nagpatuloy naman ang friendship ni Jowa at Allen — although hindi naikuwento ni Jowa kung nagpatuloy rin ang kanilang nocturnal activities.

Matapos ang ilang taon, pare-pareho nang nag-graduate sina Jowa, Cheryl, at Allen. Noon ko nakilala si Jowa, at naging kami na nga. Isang gabi, habang magkasama kami ni Jowa, narinig kong may kausap siya sa cellphone. Si Allen. Pinakausap sa akin ni Jowa si Allen, basta lang daw, para lang daw makausap ko ang dating boyfriend ng bestfriend niyang si Cheryl. Go, sabi ko. “Hi, Allen,” pambungad na bati ko sa kanya, “kamusta?”

Sa kabilang linya, sumagot si Allen: “Migs… ok naman. Ganda ng boses mo ah. Guwapo ka ba?”

Natawa na lang ako. Hindi ko na matandaan kung ano pa ang napag-usapan namin sa maigsing phonecall na iyon. Basta ang di ko malimutan eh ang interes ni Allen na malaman kung guwapo nga ba ang kausap niya.

Nang maging mag-officemate kami, noon ko lamang nasilayan ang itsura ni Allen. Mestisuhin. Di katangkaran, pero may dating. Bad boy look. Pero makinis, in fairness. Delicious looking, kumbaga. Pero siyempre dahil self-imposed rule ko nga ang “No Office Romance” keber ang beauty niya sa akin. Hanggang tango at ngiti lang kami. Ni hindi ko alam kung alam niya na ako yung nakausap niya sa telepono.

Nag-resign si Allen matapos ang ilang taon, habang ako ay nanatili sa kumpanya. Ngayong gabi, nakita ko ulit ang Allen, sa Facebook, at iyun nga, sweet na sweet na naman pala sa isang mujer, sa isang tunay na mujer.

* * *

May nabasa ako sa kungsaan, sinasabing ang sekswalidad daw, specifically ang sexual preference ay fluid. Maaring sa ilang tao, masasabi nilang sila ay siguradong-siguradong lalake, o siguradong-siguradong bading, ngunit may pagkakataon din namang may mga taong mas fluid ang preference. Sa pananaw ko, nabibilang si Allen sa kategoryang ito. Fluid Sexuality. Maaaring papalit-palit, palipat-lipat.

Nakaka-intriga, di ba? Siyempre naisip ko rin, “nage-enjoy din kaya talaga siya sa babae? O cover girl lang si girl, as in panakip-butas?” I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, kasi mukhang in love naman talaga sila ni mujer. Talaga sigurong fluid lang ang sexuality niya. Talaga lang sigurong maari siyang papalit-palit ng gusto, palipat-lipat ng kampo.

* * *

Ikaw, giliw na mambabasa ko… may kilala ka rin bang tulad ni Allen? Sa tingin mo ba’y pupuwede ngang FLUID ang sexuality? Maaari nga bang minsa’y gusto ng isa ay lalake, at pagkaminsa’y babae naman? Ano sa tingin mo?

Papali-palit, Palipat-lipat

2009-01-24T23:47:00.001-08:00

Jose Sarasola Scandal

2008-12-04T04:54:00.000-08:00

Maniniwala ba kayong si Jose talaga 'to? Tutukan nyo ngang mabuti... Kayo na ang humusga kung siya nga ba 'to o hindi.
Peace!!!!

Dakota King 4

2008-11-22T04:29:00.000-08:00

dakota king

2008-11-18T05:47:00.000-08:00

Pretty Boy

2008-11-18T05:27:00.000-08:00

sana walang magalit na fans ni jc nito. anyway lumabas na rin naman ito sa tv, e di marami nang nakakapanood nito. Para lang dun sa mga naka miss ng episode ng obra. wala na ito sa youtube.

Sasha and Arpad

2008-11-17T07:44:00.000-08:00

Sarap

2008-11-10T05:22:00.000-08:00

AleSan

2008-11-04T05:42:00.000-08:00

BJ

2008-10-21T07:15:00.000-07:00

Raul & Benie

2008-09-23T06:15:00.000-07:00

Tony and Rey

2008-09-16T04:53:00.000-07:00

Eskandalo

2008-09-14T20:50:00.000-07:00

Starring:
Emilio Garcia- as Benedicto
Andrew Schimmer- as Lance
Paolo Rivero- co-Professor of Benny
Snooky Serna- sister of Lance
Pocholo Montes-
Lui Manansala- parents of Benny

Directed By: Joven Tan

Magkasabay na ipinalabas ang pslikulang “For The First Time” at “Eskandalo” ditto sa Cebu noong August 27, 2008.ngunit mas pinili kong unahing panooin ang “Eskandalo” sapagkat hindi sa ayaw kong makisabay sa dami ng nanonood ng “For The First Time” nina KC Concepcion at Richard Guttierez kung hindi, dahil alam kong ang “Eskandalo” ay tatagal lamang ng isang lingo sa isang eksklusibong sinehan ditto sa Colon. At alam ko ring aabot pa ng isang buwan o higit pa ang pagpapalaba sa mga sinehan ang pelikulang “For The First Time” kaya mahaba-haba pa ang panahon upang ito’y aking mapapanood.
Bakit gusto kong unahing psnoorin ang “Eskandalo”? gusto kong mapanood ito hindi dahil sa igsi ng panahong ipapalabas ito. Hindi rin dahil sa paborito ko ang mga artistang nagsipagganap nito. Actually, wala akong paborito sa mga nagsiganap. Hindi ako avid fan nina Emilio Garcia at Andrew Schimmer. Hindi rin dahilan ang pagiging kuryuso ko dahil ibinase ito sa totoong pangyayaring nagaganap ditto mismo sa Cebu. Simple lang ang dahilan. Gusto kong panoorin ito dahil sa tema nitong kabaklaan.
First time kong mapanood si Emilio na gumanap bilang bakla sa pelikula. Alam kong gumanap na rin siya dati ng ganitong papel noon sa “Selda”, but sad to say hindi ko napanood yun. Effective naman siya. Mahusay naman ang pagkakaganap nia bilang professor na bakla sa pelikulang ito. At sa lahat ng pelikulang napanood ko na may ganitong tema, ngayon lang ako nakaka-relate nang ganito. Salamat sa mahusay na pagkakagawa sa lahat ng bumubuo ng pelikulang ito. Na-appreciate ko naman yung ibang indie movie dahil nga bakla ako at puno naman nang kabaklaan yung napapanood ko. Pero sa pelikulang ito lang ako nagkaroon nang matinding reflection sa buhay ko at kung paano ako nakak-relate nang maige sa bawat eksena.
Totoong mahirap ang kalagayan ng isang baklang sa loob ng tatlumpo’t limang taon sa buhay niya ay nakakulong ang katotohanang kahit siya mismo ay pilit na nagtimpi dahil ayaw mabahiran ng mantsa ang dangal at pangalan ng pamilya. At sa loob ng tatlumpo’t limang tsong yun ng buhay niya, ni minsan ay hindi siya nagkaroon ng karanasan ng mga karanasang laganap sa maraming bakla. Sa loob ng mga panahong yun ng buhay niya, ngayon lang siya nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob na sumubok sa isang taong inakala niya ang siyang magbibigay katuparan ng kanyang nga pangarap. At ang minsang iyon, sa isang iglap ay siya palang magbibigay sa kanya ng pagkatalo at pagkabigo na maghahatid sa kanya sa kapahamakan.
Nag-iisang anak si Benny (Emilio Garcia). Kumpleto ang pamilya niya at iginagalang sa lipunan ang kanyang mga magulang. Retiradong sundalo ang kanyang ama (Pocholo Montes). Dating principal at aktibo sa simbahan naman ang kanyang ina (Lui Mnanansala). Siya naman si Benny, isang propesor sa isang unibersidad. Dahil nga may iniingatang dangal sa lipunan, hindiladlad ang kanyang pagkatao. Pero marami na ang nakakaalam tungkol sa kanya. Sa pagiging tagong bakla niya. Hindi naman ito lingid sa kaalaman lalo n ang kanyang kaibigan at katrabaho (Paolo Rivero) at ng kanyang mga magulang. Siya yung tipo ng bakla na takot humada. Virgin kumbaga. Nakilala niya si Lance (Andrew Schimmer) sa isang massage parlor. Hanggang sila’y nagkaibigan. Mahirap lang ang pamilya ni Lance. Ate lang niya ang kasa-kasama niya sa bahay. Kaso bungangera’t mukhang pera kung ito’y kanyang ilalarawan. May asawa siya dati kso humiwalay sa kanya sa kadahilanang hindi niya ito mapapaligaya ng husto pagdating sa kama. Dahil nga raw… maliit lang ang kanyang ari. Mapagbigay si Beny kay Lance pagdating sa pera…Ewan kung kusang-loob lang ba ang pagbibigay nito sapagkat wala naman siyang hinihintay na kapalit. Ilang beses na rin siyang inaya at sineduce ni Lance na makipagsex, pero ayaw niya. Hanggang isang araw, napilitan na talaga siya. Naglakas-loob na siyang subukan ito. Ngunit sa araw ng kanilang pagniniig, may natukalasan siya kay Lance. Maliit nga lang talaga ang ari nito. Natataw siya. Isang bagay na ikinasama naman ni Lance. Matagal bago naulit muli ang kanilang pagsi-sex. At nang araw na naulit yun sa dati pa rin nilang tagpuan, dun na naganap ang hindi inaasahan. Ayaw ni Lance na siya’y pagtawanan dahil sa liit ng kanyang kaangkinan. Kay Benny naman, wala sa kanya yun. Ayaw lang talaga niyang malagay sa alanganin. Dahil sa tuwing nagsi-sex daw sila, naalala nito ang kanyang mga magulang. Bagay na hindi pinaniniwalaan ni Lance. Sa halip, hinaharass niya si Benny. Pinadapa. Hinubaran ng pilit. May kinuha si Lance sa bag ni Benny. Isang pen marker. At yun ang isinaksak nito sa puwet ni Benny. Hindi pa siya nakuntento, kinunan pa ng video gamit ang cell phone. Kawawang Benny. Huli n ang malaman nito ang kahayupang ginawa sa kanya ni Lance nang makalabas na siya sa ospital pagkatapos ng kanyang operasyon. Natanggal na rin siya sa unibersidad na kanyang pinasukan. Nabalot sa kutya at libak ang pamilya ni Benny. Ang kanyang pinaka-iingatang pangalan, unti-unti nang gumuho.mabuti na lang andyan pa ang kanyang mga magulang na kahit anong oras, handing dumamay sa kanya.
Sa tagpong iyon kung saan pumagitna si Benny na nakihiga sa kama ng kanyang magulang at yakap nito ang nanay at tatay niya, doon biglang may kumurot sa puso ko. Sa huli’t huli, magulang pa rin ang ating takbuhan. Nasasabi ko sa sarili ko, sana kung nabubuhay lang ang mga magulang ko, matatanggap din kaya nila ang tunay na ako? Pero kahit ngayong wala na sila, para pa rin akong nakakulong sa isang hawla. Hindi ko pa rin mailabas-labas ang tunay kong pagkatao.kung tutuusin, wala naman akong iniingatang pangalan. Hindi ako edukado. Wala nang magbabawal sa akin kung tutuusin. Pero bakit? Hanggang kalian at hanggang ilang beses ko pa ito itatanong sa sarili ko. Hanggang sa matulad ako ni Benny na hihintayin ko pang may magaganap na trahedya sa buhay ko at matuklasan ng buong mundo na ganun pala ako? Siguro nga mas masakit kung sa akin nangyari ang naranasan ni Benny.kumpleto sa magulang si Benny. May handang dumamay sa kanya anuman ang mangyari. Sa akin? Wala!

How can I tell I’m in love?

2008-09-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

But it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing when you are a teen because romantic love is a relatively new concept for you and you don’t know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can’t be easily answered.
One of the most confusing quasi-love feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why? What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? Teens struggle with this because they see lust in the Biblical sense, but lust isn’t that sinister. Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many teens (and to be fair, many adults) confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love. For teens, since feelings of attraction are still new and since pop-culture sells sex and love as one package, it is very easy to get the two mixed up.
Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one anothers happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sappiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?
There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person but there are some tell-tale signs that love is blooming (or growing deeper). If you agree with 7 of the following 9 statements you are probably in love.
You know, because you have been told by your significant other, that your deep feelings are returned in kind.The object of your affections makes you feel special and good about yourself.If/when you feel jealous it is always fleeting; you trust your partner not to betray you or hurt your relationship.Nothing makes you feel as serene as when you and your partner are together.When you fight with your partner you usually make up within a few hours and you always agree that nothing is more important than you both being able to express your true feelings.

Simon and Angelo

2008-09-08T06:44:00.000-07:00

sorry guys, di naging successful yung uploading ko ng video on baguio boy. tagal kc, halos 4 hrs akong nag-upload di pa rin matapos-tapos ang processing. ang bagal. nakakabagot mag-antay. pero di bale, may bago ako ngayon. sana magustuhan nyo..

Baguio Boy

2008-09-04T03:35:00.000-07:00

thanks thebaklareview. dahil gusto mo pa... para sayo ang video na'to.

MGA KASABIHAN NA MAGBIBIGAY ARAL SA LAHAT

2008-09-03T22:25:00.000-07:00

-Ang taong hindi marunong lumingon sa pinang-gagalingan ay mayrong stiffneck!

-Aanhin mo ang mansyon na bahay, kung katulong ka lang doon!

-Ang buhay ay parang bato, its hard!

-Ang taong nagigipit …. .sa bumbay kumakapit!

-Ang taong hindi marunong magsalita sa ating wika…lumaki sa ibang bansa!

-Kapag may usok…may nag iihaw!

-If you can’t beat them…shoot them!

-Ang taong naglalakad ng matulin…may utang!

-Walang matigas na tinapay…..sa gutom na tao!

-Birds of the same feather…make a good feather duster!

-Matalino man ang matsing….matsing pa rin!

-Magbiro ka na sa lasing, magbiro ka na sa bagong gising…’wag ka lang magbiro sa lasing na bagong gising!

-Kapag ang puno mabunga…..mataba ang lupa!

-Kapag may tyaga….goodluck na lang!

-Try and try until you succeed…or else try another!

-Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan nasa ilalalim…minsan nasa_……vulcanizing shop!

-An apple a day….makes seven apples in a week!

-Kapag maiksi ang kumot…bumili ka ng bago!

-Hindi lahat ng lalaki ay gwapo…. at hindi rin lahat na gwapo ay lalaki..

hahaha…

THE MISS UNIVERSE

1]Gutom ako, gutom tayong lahat…HUNGARY!

2]Ola Viola, kaserola, tinola saranggola ni lola….VENEZUELA!

3]Boom! kabum! kablam!…………AFGHANISTAN!

4]Malay mo, malay nating lahat…MALAYSIA!

5] Baha doon,baha dito, baha sa buong mundo…BAHAMAS!

6] Hindi sa akin, hindi sa’yo..kanino sya?…KENYA!

7]One way, two way, theres no other way…NORWAY!

8]Sing ka na, sing ka pa, ilabas ang magic sing….SINGAPORE!

9]Mula sa lupa na kulang ang bigas, sandamakmak na mandurugas…PILIPINAS!

…magtawanan tayo mga tsong!

SA gustong mo text kanako, ipadangat ang inyung reklamo, suhistyon ug mga pangutana sa POLICE STATIONS haduol sa inyung lugar! LOL

Anaconda

2008-09-03T21:56:00.000-07:00

sabihin nyo lang kung gusto nyo pa ha? marami pa 'ko nito.

exotic dancer

2008-09-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

eto na naman po. baka sakaling may makapansin. tutok lang dito hangga't kayo'y maduling. hehe
.

Japanese Boy Scandal

2008-08-25T08:42:00.000-07:00

For your satisfaction especially those who cannot download this vid at rapidshare. Magsawa kayo sa palabas na'to. Leave here your comments naman para magkaroon ako ganang mag-upload ng ibang videong tulad nito, guys. o, sino pa dyan ang may gusto. Sabihin nyo lang. At handa akong ibigay lahat ng gusto n'yo. Hehe.

How to Come Out As Gay or Lesbian

2008-08-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

You have realised your sexuality, and have accepted it, and now you have decided to come out of the closet. You may want to stop and think about whether you are doing the right thing by confiding in certain people at this point. The key is to know if you are ready, then choose the first people you tell for their potential as positive supporters, and then decide whether or not you would like some of your more casual acquaintances to know. If you are in a gay or lesbian relationship, your partner will be able to support you through this.

Steps
Realise that you’re making a brave choice, and you will be much happier in the long run than if you tried to hide it. Nothing is more important than being positive of your sexuality. Before expecting others to do so, Learn to accept yourself - if you are not comfortable with the idea of being publicly gay, bisexual or lesbian, think about it thoroughly. Not everyone is ready to let go of old prejudices, but by coming out and being a visible member of the community, you’re making a difference in creating social change and acceptance. Although others may initially feel uncomfortable or awkward with your disclosure, the happiest and most authentic life is only possible if you are open with those around you.

Be prepared. Consider your family, friends, co-workers, and community before opening up to any of them. Do any of these people show homophobic feelings, and would they respect your sexuality? It may take some time for others to come to terms with it and accept it, just the same as you did. Be reasonably sure that the first people you tell will be positive and supportive, and save coming out to other people until after you’ve had a little bit of practice in telling someone about it. It may help if you talk to or come out to other people that you know are gay. Your parents might be great about it, but they might not. If this is the case, realise that they are from a different generation and they may believe they have your best interest at heart.

Be prepared for questions they might ask. They might be afraid of how people will treat you, or that you’ll never be able to have children - these are all very real concerns to them, so treat them seriously. If they are religious, you may want to find some material ahead of time to share with them that expresses a positive view. It may help to refer them to a religious leader that reflects a positive and healthy view of lesbian and gay relationships.
If you are in a situation where you believe you could be disowned or even outlawed, wait until you are safe and independent before you decide to come out.
Choose the first person you come out to wisely. A close friend or relative that you trust is a brilliant start, one whom you feel is likely to support you. Discuss your sexuality with the people closest to you before making it commonly known. It is very important that you do not ambush them! They may feel confused or even angry if you do. Instead, tell them that you have something important to share with them, and that you have been thinking it over for a long time. Explain that you have realised you are different from others, but until recently, didn’t really connect the dots as to why. By saying this, they will understand that you didn’t keep it from them; you were simply trying to figure it out before saying anything to anyone.
Start coming out to more casual friends as you become more confident in your identity. Understand that it is not necessary to tell everyone at one time; everyone reacts differently, so tell each person separately at an appropriate time, when you have privacy and sufficient time to discuss it. As before, if you are in a situation where you believe you could be disowned or even outlawed, wait until you are safe and independent before you decide to come out. If you are comfortable with your casual acquaintances knowing, then the sooner the better. When people know who you are from the start, they are more willing to simply accept you as you are. It becomes harder to tell people after you’ve known them for a while, because they have formed an idea of who you are in their own heads without knowing properly.
Choose the method of coming out wisely. You might want to tell someone during a serious face-to-face conversation, or slip it in casually to show that you have accepted it and are comfortable with the idea. If you want to make it a determined conversation, take a deep breath and say it. Practise it alone first if you wish, but simply say it in a direct, forthright way.
If you don’t want to make a big deal out of it, try to interject it into the conversation. The less of an issue it is to you, the more relaxed people will be when you tell them. - there won’t be that big overreaction you fear if you are calm when you reveal your orientation.
Prepare a response to people hitting on you. If someone is flirting with you, you need to answer as you feel appropriate. In an environment where you may not want to divulge your sexual orientation you might say: “Thank you but I’m involved with someone”.

If you do wish to be totally open, you can say something along the lines of: “Thank you, but I’m already taken. My partner and I have been together exclusively for…” or “I’m flattered, but I’m gay/lesbian/straight” or “Thank you, but I don’t date men/women”.

Be proud of who you are! Hold your head up high and don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed. Don’t apologise or allow yourself to feel ashamed of it to anyone when you tell them the truth about yourself. Learn to not care too much what people say or do; allowing anyone to take a position that has you apologising or feeling bad about your sexuality will only reinforce any negative preconceptions they have. Instead, be positive and firm in that happy outlook so that anyone who seems disappointed or sad about it will know that you are fine and happy. This is really important to show to those who love you - we all have a hard time imagining that anyone could be happy doing things that we ourselves might not be interested in doing; just as people who are happy rock climbing have a hard time understanding people who are happy sleeping in a hammock on their days off, straight people have a hard time understanding how a gay person can be happy. All you need to do is to assure them that you are.
Be wise. Depending on your environment, you may come across extremes of inacceptance; it is important that you are prepared for potentially difficult times. Make sure that you are safe and ready before you take the leap. The whole community does not need to know unless you are comfortable in being totally out, and are safe and independent enough to do so. Unfortunately, you may be in a situation where you are dependent on someone or something that might potentially change if you come out; in a situation like this, you may need to change what it is you are dependent on before you come out. This may mean waiting until you have a home of your own, or in an area of safety where you do not run the risk of being outlawed or disowned.

Tips
Have patience. Remember that you yourself took time to get used to your sexuality, so others may need time to get used to the idea too. Be moderate - it is okay to find pride within yourself, but don’t push your views or beliefs on others. Some people may struggle to accept it, but make sure they respect you. If someone shows any disrespect, sometimes it is best to just ignore it.

Show some pride symbols if you can - the six-coloured rainbow and the upside down lavender triangle. Perhaps try wearing a rainbow necklace or bracelet or a sweatband. Try to make friends with new people - gay or straight; sometimes they can be very understanding and help you to get through this if it becomes a rough patch in your life. Use the Internet to network and meet other gay people for support if you don’t have an real life support network yet, don’t worry, you will! Don’t take it personally if people ask you questions about it - see it as your opportunity to be a good liaison for the LGBT community.

Warnings
Coming out to the whole community is sometimes not ideal. Make sure that you are safe, and not breaking the law in being homosexual or in a homosexual relationship.
Keep your safety in mind when choosing when and how to come out. If you live in a very conservative place, you may want to seek out other members of the gay community first to learn about their experiences. It’s not worth getting hurt over. If you are suffering from harassment at school or the workplace, don’t be afraid to ask for help from authority figures.
Keep a close eye on your relationships with friends, family and acquaintances, and note any changes in their behaviour toward you. If you sense discomfort or awkwardness, give them time. If it doesn’t pass, address it with them as soon as you’re able to.
Avoid gossip! People may not feel like they can trust you if they have to hear it through the grapevine. If your decision will have a definite effect on certain people in your life, tell those people first. A good example: your girlfriend or boyfriend. If you’ve been dating a straight boy or girl, you need to let him or her know first. Don’t keep stringing them along, it makes them feel foolish and it wastes their time, which is not fair of you.
The possibility of having negative encounters will be higher after you come out, but be strong, and remember that you do not need to be accepted by anyone but yourself!
Don’t bother to retaliate to people who say things like “you will go to hell“. It is best to reply with something like: “I appreciate your concern, but I feel comfortable with who I am and I’m sorry that you feel that way”, and to walk away from that person. It’s not worth the stress.

How to Accept That You Are Gay

2008-08-24T08:58:00.001-07:00

If you feel attracted to members of the same sex, or both sexes, but need to feel like you have accepted it within yourself, here is a guide to help you. You have found out your sexual orientation, and you are perfectly normal. Accepting who you are - and being proud of who you are - is the next step on the road to coming out of the closet, and eventually to having a successful gay or lesbian relationship. Some people have difficulty in accepting their sexual orientation, either because of personal or societal discomfort or pressure. Most people in the LGBT community know from experience that accepting your sexuality will lead to your becoming a happier, more open person.

In this guide, the term gay has been used to include all forms of homosexuality and bisexuality, whether that be people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or pansexual.

Steps

Know if you are Gay. Sometimes people question their sexuality. There are many degrees of sexual orientation, and if you find you don’t fit easily into one category, perhaps you are bisexual. Don’t allow yourself to be labelled until, or unless, you are ready and willing to be. If you feel that you don’t fit, or you can’t understand why you aren’t like other people in your life because you are different, remember that you are you, and not anyone else; and that being yourself and accepting yourself for the person that you are is something to be immensely proud of.

Remember that you didn’t choose to be attracted to members of the same sex, and that attempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end.[1] When talking with heterosexual friends or family members, it’s sometimes tough to help them understand this, because they have no frame of reference for your experience. Try to encourage others to see your sexual orientation in the same way as they see your eye colour - it is something you were born with and did not choose. It is something that is simply a part of your being, and not something you can change. There isn’t any need to - being gay is just another way of being, and there is nothing wrong with it at all, neither is there anything wrong with you for being gay.

Some people in the world believe that your sexual orientation is a choice. If this is true for you, especially if you feel attracted to both genders, you might want to evaluate your choices. Leading a gay lifestyle can be a challenging choice in many societies throughout the globe. If you feel that you made a choice, you should feel comfortable with that choice. Everyone has their own battles and choices to make, and the norms of societies may not necessarily be normal for you. If you do feel that you want to make the choice to accept your sexuality, it would be best to find friends and loved ones to support you, but do not feel - or let yourself be - pressured into believing that you should “change your ways”. If anyone tries to force an opinion on you that you do not agree with, such that your desires themselves are unnatural, sinful or symptoms of a mental disorder, look elsewhere for support. There is no evidence that “helping homosexuals to become heterosexual” is possible, and treatments to “change” sexual orientation that were common in the 1960s and 1970s were very damaging to those patients who underwent them and affected no change in their sexual orientation.[2]

Develop and express your individuality - if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, whatever it may be, then be proud of it - you are the one and only you. Understand that a person who is gay is no different from any other person. Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals, and want companionship and love just like anyone else you know. Strive every day to be the best person you can be, and remind yourself of the positive qualities and attributes that make you uniquely who you are.

Tell yourself that for people to accept you, first you must accept yourself. If you can’t accept your sexual orientation and feel comfortable and confident in your own skin, then other people find it harder to accept you fully. It’s your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise. Tell yourself: “I am a person with feelings and intellect and a life, just like everyone else. I am unique and individual, and no one has the right to choose my life for me. The fact that I am gay is just another facet of who I am, just as being creative, or optimistic, or having brown eyes is. I may not be like many of my friends, but I choose to live my life authentically and happily. It’s my life, and I choose to be happy”.
Remember that you are not alone. There are many, many gay people in all sorts of communities, and there are many people there for you when you need support. There may be agencies, groups, advisers, family members and friends that you can turn to, even if it is just someone to inform of your feelings. Find a group or a hangout where you feel comfortable, and where there will be other gay people to talk with. Make some new friends, and by doing so, you will establish a new network of supportive and encouraging people around yourself.

Show people who you are. Coming out of the closet is the boldest step in accepting your sexual orientation, but now that you are able to live “out”, it does not mean that you have to change who you are or what you like. Don’t go trying to change yourself or wishing that you were like the other people in your life to cater to the comfort levels of others - there are over 6,500 million of us, and you can’t please everyone - and those who care about you will still love you for who you are. If someone can’t accept the one small facet of who you are that is your sexuality, and can’t still respect you for the person that you are, then they aren’t worth your time or letting it bother you, because its not your fault that that person can’t accept it.

Tips
Be selective. The entire world does not need to know about your sexual orientation. It is not necessary to broadcast who you are, and no one should make you, if you find that telling everyone makes you uncomfortable. Know that, while you want and deserve to live an authentic life, it may not be a good idea to expose yourself to narrow-minded people who may offend you.
Don’t come out to a particular person if it doesn’t feel right to you. This is a good rule to follow in general - there could be many reasons why, but if it doesn’t “feel right” then it is probably not the right time to come out to that person. The time to tell them may be later, or never. What is most important is that you come out to yourself. Once you are at ease with your own sexual orientation and have a healthy self-image, the when and how of coming out often fall into place naturally.
Don’t worry about what others think; what is important is that you are true to yourself and considerate of others - that doesn’t mean you need to cater to the sensibilities of others. If a friend or a member of your family is having trouble coming to terms with your orientation, you may have to give them time and be patient, or in the long term face the end of that friendship.
If you are in a relationship, refrain from using the word “room-mate” or words to that effect to describe your partner. And don’t let your loved ones get away with that, either - if you allow them to pretend by introducing your partner as your “friend” or “room-mate,” then you’re allowing them to put a mask on you and your partner, both. Don’t get nasty about it, just correct them gently, for example:
“Well, yes we do live together. Auntie Joan, David is my partner” or “Auntie Joan, I noticed that Jo was introducing you to my girlfriend, Andrea. We dated for a couple of months before moving in together, and we’ve been together about a year now. I’m so glad you finally get to meet her… Andi, come here, sweetie, and meet my Aunt Joan”.Once your family get the idea that you aren’t about to sit back and let them believe that you and David are “just room-mates”, or that you and Andi are “just really good friends”, they will stop attempting to put a mask on your relationship and be more open, too.
Remember that being gay does not require you to conform to typical gay stereotypes. Most people who are gay are indistinguishable from those that aren’t, share the same interests, goals and dreams for their lives. Being a homosexual person does not necessarily make you any less masculine or feminine, and there is no need or pressure to conform to stereotypes that don’t feel right to you - because you are who you are.

Warnings
Use good judgement. Sadly, not everyone in the world is a modern, accepting person. Don’t broadcast this information to your entire community if - for example - you live in a small town or an extremely conservative area and you are likely to be harmed - physically or emotionally.
If it is very likely that your coming out will have a bad outcome, then don’t. As long as you know who you are, that’s plenty for the short term. In the end, your sexual orientation is your business. Eventually, people may figure it out, and you will need to decide whether to stay in that situation or move on to a place that is more accepting.
If you are still being supported by parents whom you are quite sure would disown you for being gay, it may be prudent to wait to tell them until you are independent. It may be vital for your survival to hold off on coming out until, for example, you have graduated high school or college, or you have moved into a place of your own.
You may regret the acceptance of your orientation in the future, especially if you’re in a part of the world where the homosexual, bisexual and transgender communities are prosecuted by a specific culture. You may have a choice in changing your lifestyle; that is, perhaps you feel you need to live under the guise of being heterosexual for your own safety, and perhaps even your own personal happiness. It is not always easy to remain accepting of your orientation depending on where you live, and the views of the people who are most important to you. There are non-profit organizations that exists to both support you in your acceptance, and also in case you would want to try and lead a heterosexual lifestyle, although you can never change your orientation. Although, it is important to note that the American Psychological Association has declared that groups claiming to cure homosexuality are dangerous and unhealthy. It is very mentally and physically unhealthy to suppress your feelings and your true self. It is up to you to decide what’s best for your life.

How to Be Yourself

2008-08-24T08:55:00.000-07:00

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde

It’s quite possibly the most commonly used phrase in the history of advice: Be yourself. But it’s such a vague adage. What do they really mean when they tell you to be yourself? And is it really as easy as it sounds?

Steps
Find yourself. You can’t be yourself if you don’t know, understand, and accept yourself first. Try to take time to yourself and contemplate on your life and choices. Try and think about what kind of things you would or wouldn’t like to do and do them - finding out through trial and error helps more than you would think it does. You can even take personality tests - though take what you want from them and don’t let them define you. Work on accepting mistakes and choices you’ve made - they’re done and its in the past so there is no use crying over spilled milk.
Stop caring about how people perceive you. The fact is, it really doesn’t matter. It’s impossible to be yourself when you’re caught up in wondering “Do they think I’m funny? Does she think I’m fat? Do they think I’m stupid?” To be yourself, you’ve got to let go of these concerns and just let your behavior flow, with only your consideration of others as a filter—not their consideration of you. Besides, if you change yourself for one person or group, another person or group may not like you and then you’d be going around in a vicious cycle to please people. It’s totally pointless in the end - though if someone you trust and respect critiques aspects of who you are, feel free to judge (honestly) whether or not it is accurate instead of shutting the critique down automatically or accepting it indefinitely.
Be honest and open. What have you got to hide? You’re an imperfect, growing, learning human being. If you feel ashamed or insecure about any aspect of yourself—and you feel you have to hide those parts of you, whether physically or emotionally—then you have to come to terms with that and learn to convert your so-called flaws into individualistic quirks. Be honest to yourself but don’t beat yourself up - apply this philosophy to others as well. There is a difference between being an ass and being honest - learn to watch the way you say things to yourselves and others when being honest.

Relax. Stop worrying about the worst that could happen, especially in social situations. So what if you fall flat on your face? Or get spinach stuck in your teeth? Learn to laugh at yourself both when it happens and afterwards. Turn it into a funny story that you can share with others. It lets them know that you’re not perfect and makes you feel more at ease, too. Its also a turn on to guys and girls when someone is able to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously!

Develop and express your individuality. Whether it’s your sense of style, or even your manner of speaking, if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, then be proud of it… unless its destructive to yourself or others. Be a character, not a type.
Have a Productive Day. Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and that some days, you’re the statue. People might raise eyebrows and even make fun, but as long as you can shrug and say “Hey, that’s just me” and leave it at that, people will ultimately respect you for it, and you’ll respect yourself.
Believe in who you are. If you’re always working to be someone you’re not, you’ll never be a happy person. Be yourself and show the world you’re proud of the way you are! Nobody knows you better than you and that’s how it should be. You deserve to be your own best friend so start trying to figure out HOW you can do that - if you had to hang out with yourself for a day, what is the funnest type of person you could be, while still being yourself? What is the best version of you? Believe in this idea and use that as your starting point. Yea and don’t forget that being yourself and honesty is the best policy! :-)

Tips
There’s a difference between being yourself and being rude. You might have your opinions, dreams, and preferences, but so does everybody else. You don’t have to disrespect people who disagree with you in order to be yourself; they’re not you.
If fads or trends strike your fancy, don’t avoid them! Being yourself is all about reflecting who you are inside in what you do, and what you like is what you like, no matter how trendy it is (or not trendy, for that matter)!
As the famous song goes, “Life’s not worth a damn until you can say, I am what I am” - when you can sincerely say it, you will know that you can be yourself.
If you don’t agree on what people express as an opinion you don’t need to argue their point or be rude about it, and don’t just act like you agree either because then you would be acting falsely.
Even if you are interested in something that most people aren’t interested in don’t be afraid or hide it, stand up and show your true inner self. People will know how confident you are.
Don’t worry about anything but being yourself and living life to the fullest!
These tips can be internalized and appreciated by learning to give maximum priority to 1. What you like maximally 2. What satisfies you for maximum time and 3. What can be shared with maximum people. This process goes on simultaneously with your blossoming which also goes on continuously [Cf: Namasmaran: Dr. Shriniwas Kashalikar]!

Warnings
Just because you don’t care about how people perceive you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be aware of it, especially in situations where being yourself might be misinterpreted. For example, you might enjoy being friendly and flirtatious, but in some cultures, that might be perceived as a sexual invitation, and you could get yourself in trouble.
Don’t lose yourself when you’re with other friends. Be yourself. Don’t be someone else so other people will like you because, in the end, you end up hurting other people and losing yourself.
Don’t think that being yourself means that you cannot change who you are. You want to be a person that you can be proud of, so if there is some way you can improve yourself, go for it. Don’t allow your shortcomings to discourage you, but don’t ignore them either.
Make sure that you can show the same “you” to everyone consistently. If you feel the need to be secretive about something wrong you’ve done, you are not really being yourself; it will show and misunderstandings will occur. Do what’s right. You cannot truly be yourself unless you can face yourself.
Keep in mind that ‘being yourself’ is not always the right thing to do. Would you tell a despicable person to just be himself and not change a thing? No. Most of the time when people in general perceive you a certain way, it means you don’t fit in to your society. Whether you WANT to fit in or not is up to you, but you are only setting yourself up for trouble when you neglect society’s ways. (That is, unless you decide to live in a cave for the rest of your life.)
That said, obviously nobody is perfect. However, if you are outrageously flawed (for example, have a short temper) then you should look into some self-improvement rather than ignoring everyone’s cues and ‘being yourself.’ Don’t deny yourself of the truth by saying it’s everyone else’s problem and not yours. You’ll only be hurting yourself in the long run.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde

It’s quite possibly the most commonly used phrase in the history of advice: Be yourself. But it’s such a vague adage. What do they really mean when they tell you to be yourself? And is it really as easy as it sounds?

Steps
Find yourself. You can’t be yourself if you don’t know, understand, and accept yourself first. Try to take time to yourself and contemplate on your life and choices. Try and think about what kind of things you would or wouldn’t like to do and do them - finding out through trial and error helps more than you would think it does. You can even take personality tests - though take what you want from them and don’t let them define you. Work on accepting mistakes and choices you’ve made - they’re done and its in the past so there is no use crying over spilled milk.
Stop caring about how people perceive you. The fact is, it really doesn’t matter. It’s impossible to be yourself when you’re caught up in wondering “Do they think I’m funny? Does she think I’m fat? Do they think I’m stupid?” To be yourself, you’ve got to let go of these concerns and just let your behavior flow, with only your consideration of others as a filter—not their consideration of you. Besides, if you change yourself for one person or group, another person or group may not like you and then you’d be going around in a vicious cycle to please people. It’s totally pointless in the end - though if someone you trust and respect critiques aspects of who you are, feel free to judge (honestly) whether or not it is accurate instead of shutting the critique down automatically or accepting it indefinitely.
Be honest and open. What have you got to hide? You’re an imperfect, growing, learning human being. If you feel ashamed or insecure about any aspect of yourself—and you feel you have to hide those parts of you, whether physically or emotionally—then you have to come to terms with that and learn to convert your so-called flaws into individualistic quirks. Be honest to yourself but don’t beat yourself up - apply this philosophy to others as well. There is a difference between being an ass and being honest - learn to watch the way you say things to yourselves and others when being honest.

Relax. Stop worrying about the worst that could happen, especially in social situations. So what if you fall flat on your face? Or get spinach stuck in your teeth? Learn to laugh at yourself both when it happens and afterwards. Turn it into a funny story that you can share with others. It lets them know that you’re not perfect and makes you feel more at ease, too. Its also a turn on to guys and girls when someone is able to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously!

Develop and express your individuality. Whether it’s your sense of style, or even your manner of speaking, if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, then be proud of it… unless its destructive to yourself or others. Be a character, not a type.
Have a Productive Day. Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and that some days, you’re the statue. People might raise eyebrows and even make fun, but as long as you can shrug and say “Hey, that’s just me” and leave it at that, people will ultimately respect you for it, and you’ll respect yourself.
Believe in who you are. If you’re always working to be someone you’re not, you’ll never be a happy person. Be yourself and show the world you’re proud of the way you are! Nobody knows you better than you and that’s how it should be. You deserve to be your own best friend so start trying to figure out HOW you can do that - if you had to hang out with yourself for a day, what is the funnest type of person you could be, while still being yourself? What is the best version of you? Believe in this idea and use that as your starting point. Yea and don’t forget that being yourself and honesty is the best policy! :-)

Tips
There’s a difference between being yourself and being rude. You might have your opinions, dreams, and preferences, but so does everybody else. You don’t have to disrespect people who disagree with you in order to be yourself; they’re not you.
If fads or trends strike your fancy, don’t avoid them! Being yourself is all about reflecting who you are inside in what you do, and what you like is what you like, no matter how trendy it is (or not trendy, for that matter)!
As the famous song goes, “Life’s not worth a damn until you can say, I am what I am” - when you can sincerely say it, you will know that you can be yourself.
If you don’t agree on what people express as an opinion you don’t need to argue their point or be rude about it, and don’t just act like you agree either because then you would be acting falsely.
Even if you are interested in something that most people aren’t interested in don’t be afraid or hide it, stand up and show your true inner self. People will know how confident you are.
Don’t worry about anything but being yourself and living life to the fullest!
These tips can be internalized and appreciated by learning to give maximum priority to 1. What you like maximally 2. What satisfies you for maximum time and 3. What can be shared with maximum people. This process goes on simultaneously with your blossoming which also goes on continuously [Cf: Namasmaran: Dr. Shriniwas Kashalikar]!

Warnings
Just because you don’t care about how people perceive you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be aware of it, especially in situations where being yourself might be misinterpreted. For example, you might enjoy being friendly and flirtatious, but in some cultures, that might be perceived as a sexual invitation, and you could get yourself in trouble.
Don’t lose yourself when you’re with other friends. Be yourself. Don’t be someone else so other people will like you because, in the end, you end up hurting other people and losing yourself.
Don’t think that being yourself means that you cannot change who you are. You want to be a person that you can be proud of, so if there is some way you can improve yourself, go for it. Don’t allow your shortcomings to discourage you, but don’t ignore them either.
Make sure that you can show the same “you” to everyone consistently. If you feel the need to be secretive about something wrong you’ve done, you are not really being yourself; it will show and misunderstandings will occur. Do what’s right. You cannot truly be yourself unless you can face yourself.
Keep in mind that ‘being yourself’ is not always the right thing to do. Would you tell a despicable person to just be himself and not change a thing? No. Most of the time when people in general perceive you a certain way, it means you don’t fit in to your society. Whether you WANT to fit in or not is up to you, but you are only setting yourself up for trouble when you neglect society’s ways. (That is, unless you decide to live in a cave for the rest of your life.)
That said, obviously nobody is perfect. However, if you are outrageously flawed (for example, have a short temper) then you should look into some self-improvement rather than ignoring everyone’s cues and ‘being yourself.’ Don’t deny yourself of the truth by saying it’s everyone else’s problem and not yours. You’ll only be hurting yourself in the long run.

Hot Pinoy videos

2008-08-21T06:11:00.000-07:00

Imoral

2008-08-18T07:37:00.000-07:00

This movie seems interesting… but how will it be different from other gay-slanted ‘threesome’ movies — Pusong Mamon, Sikil, Troika, and Ang Lalake Sa Parola? Let’s watch and see!

* * *

A man…
His wife…
His other man…
A different kind of love triangle…

Paolo Paraiso makes his big screen transition via “Imoral” opposite Katherine Luna and Arnold Reyes with Edgar Allan Guzman. The film is directed by Adolfo Alix, Jr. and from the same team that brought the Indiesine hit “Daybreak” and the 2008 Cinemalaya opening film “Adela.”

A lot of people put a high priority on monogamy in a relationship. However, there are rare instances when the couple agrees to have an open relationship, allowing the participants to take other partners. Written by Gerry Gracio (”Santa-Santita”), “Imoral” tackles the dynamics of the relationship between a husband, his wife and his lover as they all live in one house. Paolo portrays the bisexual taxi driver who divides his time between his lover and his wife, Katherine is a former waitress who is now selling beauty products for a living, and Arnold Reyes plays the engineer and nurturing lover of Paraiso. By living with such an arrangement, the three lovers become the target of the community. Things take a drastic turn when Dante (Paraiso) sees a bag full of money inside his taxi. Now that they have money, will they still decide to stay together or go their separate ways?

“Imoral’s” first cut was screened to a jumpacked crowd during the 2008 Cinemalaya Film Festival last July. The cast also includes veteran actress Perla Bautista, acclaimed indie actor Kristoffer King, theater actress Adriana Agcaoili and Cherry Madrigal in a very special role.

Serbis

2008-08-18T07:21:00.000-07:00

Brillante Ma. Mendoza's latest film, "Serbis" (2008), may not even come close to the comparative brilliance of recent Filipino films like Jeffrey Jeturian's "Kubrador", Emmanuel dela Cruz' "Sarong banggi" and, yes, even Chito Rono's "Sukob", but it's still a curious work. For what the film lacks in plot and character development, which are really severely wanting, can be justly compensated by its prescribed milieu, which stands out as a character in itself--the movie theater run by the filmic family (no less named as "Family Theater").

With its dirty and dank hallways, its vandalized walls, its crumpled and faded movie posters, its hideously flooded and murky toilet, its duplicitous screening and projection room, not to mention its regular throng of patrons who may or may not be "there" for the featured film itself and the always-prevalent traffic and crowd noise outside, "Serbis" could've been made--or could be watched--just for this run-down and out-of-luck movie theater. (If this were a good, old classic silent film, then I could've mistaken it as a film about the theater itself.)

Mendoza may have seen--or at least, may have been aware of--Jacques Nolot's "Porn Theater" and Tsai Ming-liang's "Goodbye, Dragon Inn", which his film quite approximates in terms of setting and concern. But even then, "Serbis" doesn't have the self-criticizing humor of the former and the existential elegy of the latter, qualities which, in fairness to Mendoza, he may not have the intention of lending to his film. It's because from the looks of it (I mean literally), "Serbis" may be one of the many far-down-the-way descendants and variations of the Neo-Realist School of Thought (Naturalism, Abjection, Spontaneity, etc). But even then, unlike many of the best works from that venerated film-making method ("La Terra Trema", "The Bicycle Thief", "Shoeshine", "Salaam, Bombay!", "A Woman Under the Influence", "Rosetta", "Riff-Raff", even our own "Insiang", etc), his film actually eludes the capability of being situated in a wider social and political context, not even in a remote manner. Perhaps again, that's something that Mendoza may not even be set on achieving.

To put it bluntly, "Serbis" escapes any explanation, logical or otherwise. To say that it threads on naturalism is to state the obvious. To say that it borders on the absurd is to overstate the matter. To say that it has a radical agenda being rallied is to make the point moot and academic. But then, to dismiss the film as pointless and inconsequential is to underappreciate Mendoza's efforts in coming up with a "different" film like this. I say different in that while it's too lightweight to be considered an "art" film, it's too deliberate to be regarded as "trash" as well. (It wouldn't be selected for competition in this year's Cannes film festival if it didn't have "something" going for it, I guess.)

Still, I don't get it why some of the Cannes press and even the MTRCB here would be so bothered as to express aghast at some of the film's "disgusting" and "explicit" scenes. I contend that a couple of nude and sex scenes are just plain gratuitous, but the "disgusting" scenes being specified by the press are not even worth mentioning as to merit controversy. In themselves, these scenes just don't add up to a film that's already not meant to cohere. "Serbis" is definitely no "Irreversible" and "Humanite".

What can be a source of comfort is the fact that even works of disappointment do have their choice moments of saving grace. In this scant film's case, it's the selected portrayals of Gina Pareno, Jaclyn Jose and, yes, Coco Martin. If these actors are even "acting" in the film, that I don't know. Whenever Gina and Jaclyn (the beleaguered mother and daughter proprietors of the seedy cinema) are in the frame, they really command such a thespic presence, without them exerting so much effort (if there's one), even having themselves willingly sailed (I mean literally) through the muck and mire of the film. The same goes for Coco (the aimless son of the older proprietor), specifically with regards to the factor of being "dirtied" by the film. His character rarely utters a word in the film;most of the time, he's just seen doing "something", quietly and intently. But it's in such activities, I hope, that we get to have a glean of his mental and emotional state--like in the slow and long scene where he cleans the hopelessly recoverable cinema toilet (a part of his being "dirtied" by the film). Even the decried scene where he successfully pops a painful buttock pus using a cola bottle gets to signify a kind of self-epiphany (which leads to his ultimate detachment from his family by the film's end)!

Sadly, such choice moments of portrayal are still undermined by the fact that Armando Lao's script doesn't allow them to become fully-rounded characters as for the viewers to really feel their plight. These characters are made to appear as nothing more than like the strangers and acquaintances who we meet fleetingly and randomly in real life and then care for no more afterwards. If the fairly dignified thespic chops of Gina, Jaclyn and Coco are still led to feel that way, then what more of the other characters? This but true--like the projectionist character of Kristoffer King who is there just to be given a rough blow job by one of the theater's gay patrons and the ticket-booth attendant character of Mercedes Cabral who is there just to brazenly pose in nude in front of the mirror at the film's start. But then, didn't I mention earlier that "Serbis" could be just about the theater itself?

In itself, "Serbis" is a graphic and natural document of a Filipino slice-of-life, but not enough as to become a true piece of cinematic provocation and radicalness as what the majority of films being shown in Cannes are meant to be.

Ang Lihim Ni Antonio

2008-08-14T08:57:00.000-07:00

It’s the story of a gay 15-year old and the random events that happen in his life. That’s all there is to it. A falling out of friendship after drunken sex; coming out to another friend; living with a compassionate but broken mother; reaching out to an absentee father; and the arrival of a hunk uncle. The plots don’t exactly bleed into one another in a satisfying, cause-and-effect, or thematic fashion. Collectively, they paint a portrait of a coming of age that is incoherent, and maybe that’s the point.

Antonio spends a lot of time asking questions in his head. (We hear them as voice-overs.) It’s an existential journey that ends in senseless tragedy — where else? (The ending is a gay twist on the classic Insiang.) Maybe, the movie is saying, the meaning of life — and of being gay — is that it doesn’t mean anything. It’s a strong statement in our age of self-importance, when, in an increasingly liberated environment, we make so much fuss about our sexuality.

The movie’s main fault is that it doesn’t really make us care about any of this. Antonio is a walking empty shell. None of what he does, or what happens to him, seems to have any gravity. What keeps us watching is not that he’s interesting, but that the occurances are familiar to us as gay men who’ve been there before or at least heard stories about it. Sure, I giggled at the memory of wearing somebody’s used underwear on my face, but what was so special about that scenario, really? I got tired of scenes unfolding without distinctiveness or consequence. I stayed on my seat mainly because I already know uberstud Josh Ivan Morales will eventually flash his hefty manhood and that he will finally do it with cute newcomer Kenjie Garcia. It was just a matter of when.

Lihim was created by the same team as last year’s sensational Ang Lalake Sa Parola, but it lacks that film’s central provocative idea and the dirty allure of exploitative filmmaking. Lihim takes a more serious (read: dry) approach (just look at mother Shamaine Buencamino’s serious acting), but doesn’t have the serious meat with which to fill it. It’s unremarkable cinema that gets by on expectation.

Lahat tayo may kanya kanyang lihim,lahat tayo may katanungang pilit hinahanapan ng kasagutan, kung minsan ang mga katanungang yun ay mananatili nalang tanung hindi natin alam kung kaylan ang takdang panahon para sa bawat kasagutan… tulad ni Antonio isang tauhan sa pelikulang napanuod ko marami din gumugulong katanungan dito sa isip at puso ko at hanggang ngayun pilit ko parin hinahanap ang sagot… tulad ni Antonio ilang beses ko din tinanong ang sarili ko sa mga sensetibong bagay na ito at sa pagdaan ng panahon unti unti kong naiintindihan kung bakit ganito…kung bakit ganun….pero bakit kaya minsan alam mo na pero ang hirap paring intindihin….

Tulad ni Antonio ang bawat lihim nya ay lihim ko din….isang realidad ng buhay na minsan ko ng tinakasan at itinataboy… pero anu ang magagawa ko hindi ko hawak ang pagtibok ng puso ko, hindi ko madiktahan ang sarili ko…ang dali magbigay ng payo sa isang kaibigan pero pag sarili mo na minsan kahit alam mo na ang tama pero dapat kaylangan mo pang marinig ito sa isang kaibigan para mas maunawaan… ganun ba talaga ang tao kaylangan ng isang kaibigang uunawa at iintindi para maging mas madali….

Tulad ni Antonio tinanung ko din sa sarili ko kung bakit hindi tayo nagkaroon ng choice sa buhay natin… walang choice kung anung pagkatao ang gusto natin… itinakda ba ng panahon at pagkakataon kung sino ang magiging pamilya natin at kung anung uri ng buhay magkakaroon tayo… sa age ko ngyun na 30 huli na ba ang mga katanungang ito? Dapat sa age na 35 kilala ko ng ng lubos ang sarili ko coz kung hindi anu na ang magyayri sa akin… hindi ko nga alam kung anu ba talaga ang pakay ko sa mundong ito….hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nandito at kung anu ang role ko sa buhay ng mga taong nakikilala ko… to make them happy and leave mark…and then what’s next?
sino ba ako sa napakalaking mundong ito?

Sa teleserye ko ako ang bida…bidang patuloy inaalam ang hiwaga ng buhay….ang bida sa teleserye minsan nasasaktan, minsan umiiyak at minsan naman naghahatid ng saya sa iba… anu ang ending? Wala pa…dahil sa isang teleserye maraming tauhan ang susulpot at magpapakilala sa bida at magsisimulang maging kabahagi sa buhay ng bida….

Bida ako na nawawala…tulad ni Antonio, nawawala sya… ngayon ko lang narinig na pag may gusto kang hanapin ang santo na si Antonio daw ang dapat tawagin para mahanap mo ang hinahanap mo… tulad ni Antonio pumasok din sa isip ko eh pano kung yung mismong nawawala ang tumatawag sa kanya…pano yun…mahahanap ba ng taong ito ang sarili nya?…

Tulad nya siguro balang araw malalaman ko din ang bawat tanung ko,,mabibigyan ng bawat kasagutan ang mga bagay bagay na nagpapagulo sakin…

Nasaan Ang Swerte?

2008-08-10T07:18:00.000-07:00

August 08, 2008

888! Many people think this is a lucky number. And this is the date for today. And they think they will become lucky today. That's why so many people have gone to the lotto outlets to bet their lucky numbers. Businessmen were excited to open their business on this date. Marami ang nag-iisip, whatever field they're into, there will be full of blessings and fortunes.
But behind all these beliefs, iniisip ko rin sarili ko. Magiging maswerte rin kaya ako sa araw na 'to? Sa lahat kaya ng aspeto ng buhay magkaroon ako ng magagandang kapalaran? Sa gitna ng mga tanong na'to hinahanap ko ang sarili ko kung saan ako aakma at kung kanino at kelan ko mahahanap ang sinasabi nilang swerte sa araw na ito?
Where do am I? Nasaan ga ba ako? Kahit aong lengguwahe pa ang gamitin ko sa paghahanap ng swerte, the bottom line is, makakmtan ko kaya ito? Matatagpuan ko kaya ito?
Ako? I am putting myself not just in one corner. Marami namang corner, eh. Paglabas ko ng kwarto hindi lang apat na sulok ang makikita ko. Sa unang hakbang ko pa lang paglabas ng pintuan, marami nang direksyon ang aking makikita na kailangan kong puntahan. At sa sobra ngang dami hindi ko na alam alin ang dapat kong unahin.
Kung minsan, o di kaya'y tamang sabihing kadalasan, ang pagpili ng tamang landas ay nakalilito. Hindi, mo kasi alam kung anong tinatahak mo. Wala kang katiyakan. Lahat na lang nang uang hakbang, pagbabakasakali ang nasa isip mo. "Sana ito na ang tamang daan". "Sana swertehin ako rito". "Sana pagdating ko sa dulo, may lilingunin akong magandang alaala sa aking nakaraan at masasabi kong sa wakas, nagtagumpay rin ako".
Sana nga ganun! Tulad nga ng sabi ko sa Friendster shoutout ko- "It is better to try but failed, than to fail without trying at all".
Napakagandang slogan. Kaya nga yan ang ginagawa ko kadalasan. Pero yun na nga, I'm always trying...and everytime I tried, I always did my best...but still...everything is ended up with failures! Pero sabi nga nila, sa bawat failures daw, there's a blessing in disguise. Dahil kung nagiging successful lang ako sa buhay, wala ako ngayon dito. Hindi ako makakapagsulat nang ganito. At higit sa lahat, hindi ako makapag-create ng sarili kong blog dito sa internet. Aba siyempre ibang pinagkakaabalahan ko ngayon. Pero hindi pa rin naman ako sumusuko. Sabi nga ng ilan- "Try and try until you succeed.
Pero sa ngayon, sa katayuan ko bilang isang trabahante sa isang pipitsugin at nalalaos ng kumpanya, hindi pa muna ako makakagawa ng ibang hakbang. Feeling ko, para akong nasa kulungan. Parang hindi ako malaya sa kinatatayuan ko ngayon. Gusto kong kumawala. At alam kong wala namang makakapagpigil sa akin kapag ginawa kong kumawala, eh. Kaya lang, feeling ko may isang bahagi ng aking pagkatao na pumipigil sa kung anumang binabalak ko. Hindi ko lang matukoy kung ano yun. Kunsabagay, feeling ko lang naman lahat ng ito, eh.
Ang buhay ko katulad din ng aking pagkatao. Hindi alam anong pipiliin. Nakakulong pa rin. Kasi....pag nakawala...marami ang masasaktan. Yun ay kung may masasaktan. Kung may manghihinayang... pag may nakatuklas. Pero katulad pa rin nga ng sabi ko, lahat ng ito,... feeling ko lang. May totoo... at sana may hindi totoo.

The Mysterious Guys

2008-08-10T07:09:00.000-07:00

What Do They Have in Common?

CHAD ABARQUEZThe Romantic Guy
He is sweet, simple, loving guy. Pinaka-unang na-encounter ko in this cyberworld. Very young yet curious sa kanyang pagkatao. Fourth year high school pa lang ang batang ito. Pero mukhang mas marami nang karanasan kesa sa akin. Oo. Karansan... sa boys. Kasi ayaw naman daw niyang pumatol sa girls. Di raw niya type. But he's a straight-acting guy. Kung sa biglang tingin ay hindi mo mahalatang berde rin ang dugo ng batang ito. Malaking bulas kasi. Mas matangkad sa akin ng 5 inches. Pero ang "asset"...lamang ako. Three to Four inches lang ata sa kanya. Kung may isang pelikula na maihahalintulad ko sa buhay niya, yun ay walang iba kundi "Ang Lihim ni Antonio" Siya si Antonio sa kanyang riyalidad. Ang kaibahan nga lang, si antonio sa pelikula ay hindi nagpapatira sa puwet. Sa kanya, yun ang gusto niya. Hindi kumpleto ang sex sa kanya kapag hindi siya natira sa likod.

MARK LORENZThe Big Person.
He was a "sakristan" in one of the churches here in Cebu. Pero sa ngayon, inactive na raw siya. Meron kasi siyang organization na sinasalihan. And he is the leader of that group which makes me proud of him. But its a good organization naman na tiyak makakatulong sa kanya to become a better person. Pero kabaligtaran siya ni Chad. Bansot kasi ang batang ito. (Sorry for that term). Pero sabi nga height doesn't matter. E, ano. May maipagmamalaki naman siyang "asset". Dun siya nakabawi. Almost six inches yata ang kaangkinan nito sa height niyang five feet lang. Ang ayaw niya, yung mga pa-girls, efem, at obvious. Nasusuka siya.

MIGOBI RANDALMr One Night Stand
One night stand lang kami nito. I was the one who insisted to meet him. During that time kasi, nagbreak-up kami ng girlfriend ko. I got his number in one of the visited gay site here. I sent him a message and he replied then. Eleven evening na yun when we met in a pension house along Manalili street. I was drunk pa naman but still it was clear for me to see him personally. Medyo chubby siya in person. At dito ko na-realized na totoong maliit nga ang "asset" ng isang chubby guy. Ayokong lahatin pero sana nga nagkamali ako. Kasi kung ire-rate ko ang kanya--- 3 inches lang. Sa ngayon wala na kaming communication nito. I tried to call him pero mukhang hindi na niya ginagamit number niya.

RED DEVIL 23The Unexpected
It was an unexpected meeting. Actually, halos sabay ko silang na-meet ni Mark. Nung time kasi na nag-eyeball kami ni Mark, di pa namin siya kilala nun. Kung di ko siya inayang manood muna ng sine sa downtown area instead of going to a lodge directly, hindi namin ito makikilala. At nalaman namin na member din pala siya sa gaysite na yun. Pero hindi na ganito ang itsura niya sa picture. Semikal na ang drama ng lolo. Pagdating sa kanya "asset", Bonggacious! Pinakamalaki sa nakilala ko!

My Diary

2008-08-07T07:18:00.000-07:00

August 3, 2008

It was Sunday. I was expecting my day would be very busy since it is a holiday, and a famliy day to most people. And perhaps a religious day since most of the people are going to church. But for us who work in a chicken grilled house are quite busy during these days. That was my expectations. And that is what I thoughtwould be happen this day.

But I was wrong. Yes. Business is still operating. And daily habits are still working as a routine. Buy a few pieces chilled chicken in a department store or in a supplier. But t'was just a few pieces- just enough to operate to four active stores: Mabolo, Lahug, Wireless, and Lacion. We buy only few because we are only depending to the cash we have on hand.

Meaning, we're just doing the same thing over and over again. The sales we have in the morning will be collected to buy another goods wether in Makro or Mlhuillier. It depends on how many are sold, its amount is the only cash we can buy. The more, the plenty. The less- no comment! As long as there is a money that we can exchange for goods.

That same thing happened up to the evening. But it was a kinda hectic sked for me. I do have important meetings to attend to before 6pm. But the time we have in work does not commensurate to my scheduled meeting. I asked permission to my employer that I will be out at 5pm. Going to the church was my given reason so that he will allow me to go.

How important my meeting is? Well, all I can say is that it can evaluate my inner feelings, my decisions, what's my real score about my lovelife! Yes, I had a meeting with Christine. She was my girlfriend. I said "was" because we had just broke up just a month ago. Andnow we are going to meet again. For old time sake? Maybe. But no. I'm just giving back her clothes she left in Alcoy when she went there along with me wayback October and November 2007. (You can read the details of our relationship in the following page "What about my lovelife").

My Inspiration On Writing a Blog

2008-07-27T07:14:00.000-07:00

Napanood ko sa youtube ang isang episode ng “Nagmamahal Kapamilya” tungkol sa isang fil-am na sa likod ng tagumpay na tinamo niya sa amerika ay pinili niyang manirahan dito sa Pilipinas. It was an inspiring episode to me at lalo na ng malaman ko ang tungkol sa kanyang blog na nagbibigay sa akin ng ideya hindi lang sa paggawa ng blog, ganundin marahil ang laman ng bawat salita na kanyang sinulat doon.

Kaya nga para hindi mawala sa akin ang kanyang blog, kinopya ko pa ang kanyang URL para lang magkaroon ako ng pagsusubaybay sa kanyang paglakbay kahit nitong huli ay nagdesisyon na siyang bumalik sa amerika para dun ay bibigyan ng magandang bukas ang kanyang pamilya.

Hindi namin kilala ang isa’t-isa at hindi ko pinangarap magkakilala kami someday, gusto ko lang magkaroon ng inspirasyon mula sa kanyang katauhan na maaring gabay sa akin para sa sarili ko ring paglalakbay sa agos ng buhay.

Siya si David Poarch- ang tinatawag na “coconuter”.

http://coconuter.blogspot.com/2008/04/interview-at-redstone.html?showComment=1215474060000#comment-c5179337173795915359