Japanese Boy Scandal

For your satisfaction especially those who cannot download this vid at rapidshare. Magsawa kayo sa palabas na'to. Leave here your comments naman para magkaroon ako ganang mag-upload ng ibang videong tulad nito, guys. o, sino pa dyan ang may gusto. Sabihin nyo lang. At handa akong ibigay lahat ng gusto n'yo. Hehe.

How to Come Out As Gay or Lesbian

You have realised your sexuality, and have accepted it, and now you have decided to come out of the closet. You may want to stop and think about whether you are doing the right thing by confiding in certain people at this point. The key is to know if you are ready, then choose the first people you tell for their potential as positive supporters, and then decide whether or not you would like some of your more casual acquaintances to know. If you are in a gay or lesbian relationship, your partner will be able to support you through this.


Steps
Realise that you’re making a brave choice, and you will be much happier in the long run than if you tried to hide it. Nothing is more important than being positive of your sexuality. Before expecting others to do so, Learn to accept yourself - if you are not comfortable with the idea of being publicly gay, bisexual or lesbian, think about it thoroughly. Not everyone is ready to let go of old prejudices, but by coming out and being a visible member of the community, you’re making a difference in creating social change and acceptance. Although others may initially feel uncomfortable or awkward with your disclosure, the happiest and most authentic life is only possible if you are open with those around you.

Be prepared. Consider your family, friends, co-workers, and community before opening up to any of them. Do any of these people show homophobic feelings, and would they respect your sexuality? It may take some time for others to come to terms with it and accept it, just the same as you did. Be reasonably sure that the first people you tell will be positive and supportive, and save coming out to other people until after you’ve had a little bit of practice in telling someone about it. It may help if you talk to or come out to other people that you know are gay. Your parents might be great about it, but they might not. If this is the case, realise that they are from a different generation and they may believe they have your best interest at heart.

Be prepared for questions they might ask. They might be afraid of how people will treat you, or that you’ll never be able to have children - these are all very real concerns to them, so treat them seriously. If they are religious, you may want to find some material ahead of time to share with them that expresses a positive view. It may help to refer them to a religious leader that reflects a positive and healthy view of lesbian and gay relationships.
If you are in a situation where you believe you could be disowned or even outlawed, wait until you are safe and independent before you decide to come out.
Choose the first person you come out to wisely. A close friend or relative that you trust is a brilliant start, one whom you feel is likely to support you. Discuss your sexuality with the people closest to you before making it commonly known. It is very important that you do not ambush them! They may feel confused or even angry if you do. Instead, tell them that you have something important to share with them, and that you have been thinking it over for a long time. Explain that you have realised you are different from others, but until recently, didn’t really connect the dots as to why. By saying this, they will understand that you didn’t keep it from them; you were simply trying to figure it out before saying anything to anyone.
Start coming out to more casual friends as you become more confident in your identity. Understand that it is not necessary to tell everyone at one time; everyone reacts differently, so tell each person separately at an appropriate time, when you have privacy and sufficient time to discuss it. As before, if you are in a situation where you believe you could be disowned or even outlawed, wait until you are safe and independent before you decide to come out. If you are comfortable with your casual acquaintances knowing, then the sooner the better. When people know who you are from the start, they are more willing to simply accept you as you are. It becomes harder to tell people after you’ve known them for a while, because they have formed an idea of who you are in their own heads without knowing properly.
Choose the method of coming out wisely. You might want to tell someone during a serious face-to-face conversation, or slip it in casually to show that you have accepted it and are comfortable with the idea. If you want to make it a determined conversation, take a deep breath and say it. Practise it alone first if you wish, but simply say it in a direct, forthright way.
If you don’t want to make a big deal out of it, try to interject it into the conversation. The less of an issue it is to you, the more relaxed people will be when you tell them. - there won’t be that big overreaction you fear if you are calm when you reveal your orientation.
Prepare a response to people hitting on you. If someone is flirting with you, you need to answer as you feel appropriate. In an environment where you may not want to divulge your sexual orientation you might say: “Thank you but I’m involved with someone”.

If you do wish to be totally open, you can say something along the lines of: “Thank you, but I’m already taken. My partner and I have been together exclusively for…” or “I’m flattered, but I’m gay/lesbian/straight” or “Thank you, but I don’t date men/women”.

Be proud of who you are! Hold your head up high and don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed. Don’t apologise or allow yourself to feel ashamed of it to anyone when you tell them the truth about yourself. Learn to not care too much what people say or do; allowing anyone to take a position that has you apologising or feeling bad about your sexuality will only reinforce any negative preconceptions they have. Instead, be positive and firm in that happy outlook so that anyone who seems disappointed or sad about it will know that you are fine and happy. This is really important to show to those who love you - we all have a hard time imagining that anyone could be happy doing things that we ourselves might not be interested in doing; just as people who are happy rock climbing have a hard time understanding people who are happy sleeping in a hammock on their days off, straight people have a hard time understanding how a gay person can be happy. All you need to do is to assure them that you are.
Be wise. Depending on your environment, you may come across extremes of inacceptance; it is important that you are prepared for potentially difficult times. Make sure that you are safe and ready before you take the leap. The whole community does not need to know unless you are comfortable in being totally out, and are safe and independent enough to do so. Unfortunately, you may be in a situation where you are dependent on someone or something that might potentially change if you come out; in a situation like this, you may need to change what it is you are dependent on before you come out. This may mean waiting until you have a home of your own, or in an area of safety where you do not run the risk of being outlawed or disowned.

Tips
Have patience. Remember that you yourself took time to get used to your sexuality, so others may need time to get used to the idea too. Be moderate - it is okay to find pride within yourself, but don’t push your views or beliefs on others. Some people may struggle to accept it, but make sure they respect you. If someone shows any disrespect, sometimes it is best to just ignore it.

Show some pride symbols if you can - the six-coloured rainbow and the upside down lavender triangle. Perhaps try wearing a rainbow necklace or bracelet or a sweatband. Try to make friends with new people - gay or straight; sometimes they can be very understanding and help you to get through this if it becomes a rough patch in your life. Use the Internet to network and meet other gay people for support if you don’t have an real life support network yet, don’t worry, you will! Don’t take it personally if people ask you questions about it - see it as your opportunity to be a good liaison for the LGBT community.




Warnings
Coming out to the whole community is sometimes not ideal. Make sure that you are safe, and not breaking the law in being homosexual or in a homosexual relationship.
Keep your safety in mind when choosing when and how to come out. If you live in a very conservative place, you may want to seek out other members of the gay community first to learn about their experiences. It’s not worth getting hurt over. If you are suffering from harassment at school or the workplace, don’t be afraid to ask for help from authority figures.
Keep a close eye on your relationships with friends, family and acquaintances, and note any changes in their behaviour toward you. If you sense discomfort or awkwardness, give them time. If it doesn’t pass, address it with them as soon as you’re able to.
Avoid gossip! People may not feel like they can trust you if they have to hear it through the grapevine. If your decision will have a definite effect on certain people in your life, tell those people first. A good example: your girlfriend or boyfriend. If you’ve been dating a straight boy or girl, you need to let him or her know first. Don’t keep stringing them along, it makes them feel foolish and it wastes their time, which is not fair of you.
The possibility of having negative encounters will be higher after you come out, but be strong, and remember that you do not need to be accepted by anyone but yourself!
Don’t bother to retaliate to people who say things like “you will go to hell“. It is best to reply with something like: “I appreciate your concern, but I feel comfortable with who I am and I’m sorry that you feel that way”, and to walk away from that person. It’s not worth the stress.

How to Accept That You Are Gay

If you feel attracted to members of the same sex, or both sexes, but need to feel like you have accepted it within yourself, here is a guide to help you. You have found out your sexual orientation, and you are perfectly normal. Accepting who you are - and being proud of who you are - is the next step on the road to coming out of the closet, and eventually to having a successful gay or lesbian relationship. Some people have difficulty in accepting their sexual orientation, either because of personal or societal discomfort or pressure. Most people in the LGBT community know from experience that accepting your sexuality will lead to your becoming a happier, more open person.

In this guide, the term gay has been used to include all forms of homosexuality and bisexuality, whether that be people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or pansexual.

Steps

Know if you are Gay. Sometimes people question their sexuality. There are many degrees of sexual orientation, and if you find you don’t fit easily into one category, perhaps you are bisexual. Don’t allow yourself to be labelled until, or unless, you are ready and willing to be. If you feel that you don’t fit, or you can’t understand why you aren’t like other people in your life because you are different, remember that you are you, and not anyone else; and that being yourself and accepting yourself for the person that you are is something to be immensely proud of.


Remember that you didn’t choose to be attracted to members of the same sex, and that attempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end.[1] When talking with heterosexual friends or family members, it’s sometimes tough to help them understand this, because they have no frame of reference for your experience. Try to encourage others to see your sexual orientation in the same way as they see your eye colour - it is something you were born with and did not choose. It is something that is simply a part of your being, and not something you can change. There isn’t any need to - being gay is just another way of being, and there is nothing wrong with it at all, neither is there anything wrong with you for being gay.

Some people in the world believe that your sexual orientation is a choice. If this is true for you, especially if you feel attracted to both genders, you might want to evaluate your choices. Leading a gay lifestyle can be a challenging choice in many societies throughout the globe. If you feel that you made a choice, you should feel comfortable with that choice. Everyone has their own battles and choices to make, and the norms of societies may not necessarily be normal for you. If you do feel that you want to make the choice to accept your sexuality, it would be best to find friends and loved ones to support you, but do not feel - or let yourself be - pressured into believing that you should “change your ways”. If anyone tries to force an opinion on you that you do not agree with, such that your desires themselves are unnatural, sinful or symptoms of a mental disorder, look elsewhere for support. There is no evidence that “helping homosexuals to become heterosexual” is possible, and treatments to “change” sexual orientation that were common in the 1960s and 1970s were very damaging to those patients who underwent them and affected no change in their sexual orientation.[2]


Develop and express your individuality - if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, whatever it may be, then be proud of it - you are the one and only you. Understand that a person who is gay is no different from any other person. Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals, and want companionship and love just like anyone else you know. Strive every day to be the best person you can be, and remind yourself of the positive qualities and attributes that make you uniquely who you are.

Tell yourself that for people to accept you, first you must accept yourself. If you can’t accept your sexual orientation and feel comfortable and confident in your own skin, then other people find it harder to accept you fully. It’s your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise. Tell yourself: “I am a person with feelings and intellect and a life, just like everyone else. I am unique and individual, and no one has the right to choose my life for me. The fact that I am gay is just another facet of who I am, just as being creative, or optimistic, or having brown eyes is. I may not be like many of my friends, but I choose to live my life authentically and happily. It’s my life, and I choose to be happy”.
Remember that you are not alone. There are many, many gay people in all sorts of communities, and there are many people there for you when you need support. There may be agencies, groups, advisers, family members and friends that you can turn to, even if it is just someone to inform of your feelings. Find a group or a hangout where you feel comfortable, and where there will be other gay people to talk with. Make some new friends, and by doing so, you will establish a new network of supportive and encouraging people around yourself.

Show people who you are. Coming out of the closet is the boldest step in accepting your sexual orientation, but now that you are able to live “out”, it does not mean that you have to change who you are or what you like. Don’t go trying to change yourself or wishing that you were like the other people in your life to cater to the comfort levels of others - there are over 6,500 million of us, and you can’t please everyone - and those who care about you will still love you for who you are. If someone can’t accept the one small facet of who you are that is your sexuality, and can’t still respect you for the person that you are, then they aren’t worth your time or letting it bother you, because its not your fault that that person can’t accept it.



Tips
Be selective. The entire world does not need to know about your sexual orientation. It is not necessary to broadcast who you are, and no one should make you, if you find that telling everyone makes you uncomfortable. Know that, while you want and deserve to live an authentic life, it may not be a good idea to expose yourself to narrow-minded people who may offend you.
Don’t come out to a particular person if it doesn’t feel right to you. This is a good rule to follow in general - there could be many reasons why, but if it doesn’t “feel right” then it is probably not the right time to come out to that person. The time to tell them may be later, or never. What is most important is that you come out to yourself. Once you are at ease with your own sexual orientation and have a healthy self-image, the when and how of coming out often fall into place naturally.
Don’t worry about what others think; what is important is that you are true to yourself and considerate of others - that doesn’t mean you need to cater to the sensibilities of others. If a friend or a member of your family is having trouble coming to terms with your orientation, you may have to give them time and be patient, or in the long term face the end of that friendship.
If you are in a relationship, refrain from using the word “room-mate” or words to that effect to describe your partner. And don’t let your loved ones get away with that, either - if you allow them to pretend by introducing your partner as your “friend” or “room-mate,” then you’re allowing them to put a mask on you and your partner, both. Don’t get nasty about it, just correct them gently, for example:
“Well, yes we do live together. Auntie Joan, David is my partner” or “Auntie Joan, I noticed that Jo was introducing you to my girlfriend, Andrea. We dated for a couple of months before moving in together, and we’ve been together about a year now. I’m so glad you finally get to meet her… Andi, come here, sweetie, and meet my Aunt Joan”.Once your family get the idea that you aren’t about to sit back and let them believe that you and David are “just room-mates”, or that you and Andi are “just really good friends”, they will stop attempting to put a mask on your relationship and be more open, too.
Remember that being gay does not require you to conform to typical gay stereotypes. Most people who are gay are indistinguishable from those that aren’t, share the same interests, goals and dreams for their lives. Being a homosexual person does not necessarily make you any less masculine or feminine, and there is no need or pressure to conform to stereotypes that don’t feel right to you - because you are who you are.


Warnings
Use good judgement. Sadly, not everyone in the world is a modern, accepting person. Don’t broadcast this information to your entire community if - for example - you live in a small town or an extremely conservative area and you are likely to be harmed - physically or emotionally.
If it is very likely that your coming out will have a bad outcome, then don’t. As long as you know who you are, that’s plenty for the short term. In the end, your sexual orientation is your business. Eventually, people may figure it out, and you will need to decide whether to stay in that situation or move on to a place that is more accepting.
If you are still being supported by parents whom you are quite sure would disown you for being gay, it may be prudent to wait to tell them until you are independent. It may be vital for your survival to hold off on coming out until, for example, you have graduated high school or college, or you have moved into a place of your own.
You may regret the acceptance of your orientation in the future, especially if you’re in a part of the world where the homosexual, bisexual and transgender communities are prosecuted by a specific culture. You may have a choice in changing your lifestyle; that is, perhaps you feel you need to live under the guise of being heterosexual for your own safety, and perhaps even your own personal happiness. It is not always easy to remain accepting of your orientation depending on where you live, and the views of the people who are most important to you. There are non-profit organizations that exists to both support you in your acceptance, and also in case you would want to try and lead a heterosexual lifestyle, although you can never change your orientation. Although, it is important to note that the American Psychological Association has declared that groups claiming to cure homosexuality are dangerous and unhealthy. It is very mentally and physically unhealthy to suppress your feelings and your true self. It is up to you to decide what’s best for your life.

How to Be Yourself

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde

It’s quite possibly the most commonly used phrase in the history of advice: Be yourself. But it’s such a vague adage. What do they really mean when they tell you to be yourself? And is it really as easy as it sounds?

Steps
Find yourself. You can’t be yourself if you don’t know, understand, and accept yourself first. Try to take time to yourself and contemplate on your life and choices. Try and think about what kind of things you would or wouldn’t like to do and do them - finding out through trial and error helps more than you would think it does. You can even take personality tests - though take what you want from them and don’t let them define you. Work on accepting mistakes and choices you’ve made - they’re done and its in the past so there is no use crying over spilled milk.
Stop caring about how people perceive you. The fact is, it really doesn’t matter. It’s impossible to be yourself when you’re caught up in wondering “Do they think I’m funny? Does she think I’m fat? Do they think I’m stupid?” To be yourself, you’ve got to let go of these concerns and just let your behavior flow, with only your consideration of others as a filter—not their consideration of you. Besides, if you change yourself for one person or group, another person or group may not like you and then you’d be going around in a vicious cycle to please people. It’s totally pointless in the end - though if someone you trust and respect critiques aspects of who you are, feel free to judge (honestly) whether or not it is accurate instead of shutting the critique down automatically or accepting it indefinitely.
Be honest and open. What have you got to hide? You’re an imperfect, growing, learning human being. If you feel ashamed or insecure about any aspect of yourself—and you feel you have to hide those parts of you, whether physically or emotionally—then you have to come to terms with that and learn to convert your so-called flaws into individualistic quirks. Be honest to yourself but don’t beat yourself up - apply this philosophy to others as well. There is a difference between being an ass and being honest - learn to watch the way you say things to yourselves and others when being honest.

Relax. Stop worrying about the worst that could happen, especially in social situations. So what if you fall flat on your face? Or get spinach stuck in your teeth? Learn to laugh at yourself both when it happens and afterwards. Turn it into a funny story that you can share with others. It lets them know that you’re not perfect and makes you feel more at ease, too. Its also a turn on to guys and girls when someone is able to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously!

Develop and express your individuality. Whether it’s your sense of style, or even your manner of speaking, if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, then be proud of it… unless its destructive to yourself or others. Be a character, not a type.
Have a Productive Day. Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and that some days, you’re the statue. People might raise eyebrows and even make fun, but as long as you can shrug and say “Hey, that’s just me” and leave it at that, people will ultimately respect you for it, and you’ll respect yourself.
Believe in who you are. If you’re always working to be someone you’re not, you’ll never be a happy person. Be yourself and show the world you’re proud of the way you are! Nobody knows you better than you and that’s how it should be. You deserve to be your own best friend so start trying to figure out HOW you can do that - if you had to hang out with yourself for a day, what is the funnest type of person you could be, while still being yourself? What is the best version of you? Believe in this idea and use that as your starting point. Yea and don’t forget that being yourself and honesty is the best policy! :-)


Tips
There’s a difference between being yourself and being rude. You might have your opinions, dreams, and preferences, but so does everybody else. You don’t have to disrespect people who disagree with you in order to be yourself; they’re not you.
If fads or trends strike your fancy, don’t avoid them! Being yourself is all about reflecting who you are inside in what you do, and what you like is what you like, no matter how trendy it is (or not trendy, for that matter)!
As the famous song goes, “Life’s not worth a damn until you can say, I am what I am” - when you can sincerely say it, you will know that you can be yourself.
If you don’t agree on what people express as an opinion you don’t need to argue their point or be rude about it, and don’t just act like you agree either because then you would be acting falsely.
Even if you are interested in something that most people aren’t interested in don’t be afraid or hide it, stand up and show your true inner self. People will know how confident you are.
Don’t worry about anything but being yourself and living life to the fullest!
These tips can be internalized and appreciated by learning to give maximum priority to 1. What you like maximally 2. What satisfies you for maximum time and 3. What can be shared with maximum people. This process goes on simultaneously with your blossoming which also goes on continuously [Cf: Namasmaran: Dr. Shriniwas Kashalikar]!


Warnings
Just because you don’t care about how people perceive you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be aware of it, especially in situations where being yourself might be misinterpreted. For example, you might enjoy being friendly and flirtatious, but in some cultures, that might be perceived as a sexual invitation, and you could get yourself in trouble.
Don’t lose yourself when you’re with other friends. Be yourself. Don’t be someone else so other people will like you because, in the end, you end up hurting other people and losing yourself.
Don’t think that being yourself means that you cannot change who you are. You want to be a person that you can be proud of, so if there is some way you can improve yourself, go for it. Don’t allow your shortcomings to discourage you, but don’t ignore them either.
Make sure that you can show the same “you” to everyone consistently. If you feel the need to be secretive about something wrong you’ve done, you are not really being yourself; it will show and misunderstandings will occur. Do what’s right. You cannot truly be yourself unless you can face yourself.
Keep in mind that ‘being yourself’ is not always the right thing to do. Would you tell a despicable person to just be himself and not change a thing? No. Most of the time when people in general perceive you a certain way, it means you don’t fit in to your society. Whether you WANT to fit in or not is up to you, but you are only setting yourself up for trouble when you neglect society’s ways. (That is, unless you decide to live in a cave for the rest of your life.)
That said, obviously nobody is perfect. However, if you are outrageously flawed (for example, have a short temper) then you should look into some self-improvement rather than ignoring everyone’s cues and ‘being yourself.’ Don’t deny yourself of the truth by saying it’s everyone else’s problem and not yours. You’ll only be hurting yourself in the long run.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde

It’s quite possibly the most commonly used phrase in the history of advice: Be yourself. But it’s such a vague adage. What do they really mean when they tell you to be yourself? And is it really as easy as it sounds?

Steps
Find yourself. You can’t be yourself if you don’t know, understand, and accept yourself first. Try to take time to yourself and contemplate on your life and choices. Try and think about what kind of things you would or wouldn’t like to do and do them - finding out through trial and error helps more than you would think it does. You can even take personality tests - though take what you want from them and don’t let them define you. Work on accepting mistakes and choices you’ve made - they’re done and its in the past so there is no use crying over spilled milk.
Stop caring about how people perceive you. The fact is, it really doesn’t matter. It’s impossible to be yourself when you’re caught up in wondering “Do they think I’m funny? Does she think I’m fat? Do they think I’m stupid?” To be yourself, you’ve got to let go of these concerns and just let your behavior flow, with only your consideration of others as a filter—not their consideration of you. Besides, if you change yourself for one person or group, another person or group may not like you and then you’d be going around in a vicious cycle to please people. It’s totally pointless in the end - though if someone you trust and respect critiques aspects of who you are, feel free to judge (honestly) whether or not it is accurate instead of shutting the critique down automatically or accepting it indefinitely.
Be honest and open. What have you got to hide? You’re an imperfect, growing, learning human being. If you feel ashamed or insecure about any aspect of yourself—and you feel you have to hide those parts of you, whether physically or emotionally—then you have to come to terms with that and learn to convert your so-called flaws into individualistic quirks. Be honest to yourself but don’t beat yourself up - apply this philosophy to others as well. There is a difference between being an ass and being honest - learn to watch the way you say things to yourselves and others when being honest.

Relax. Stop worrying about the worst that could happen, especially in social situations. So what if you fall flat on your face? Or get spinach stuck in your teeth? Learn to laugh at yourself both when it happens and afterwards. Turn it into a funny story that you can share with others. It lets them know that you’re not perfect and makes you feel more at ease, too. Its also a turn on to guys and girls when someone is able to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously!

Develop and express your individuality. Whether it’s your sense of style, or even your manner of speaking, if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, then be proud of it… unless its destructive to yourself or others. Be a character, not a type.
Have a Productive Day. Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and that some days, you’re the statue. People might raise eyebrows and even make fun, but as long as you can shrug and say “Hey, that’s just me” and leave it at that, people will ultimately respect you for it, and you’ll respect yourself.
Believe in who you are. If you’re always working to be someone you’re not, you’ll never be a happy person. Be yourself and show the world you’re proud of the way you are! Nobody knows you better than you and that’s how it should be. You deserve to be your own best friend so start trying to figure out HOW you can do that - if you had to hang out with yourself for a day, what is the funnest type of person you could be, while still being yourself? What is the best version of you? Believe in this idea and use that as your starting point. Yea and don’t forget that being yourself and honesty is the best policy! :-)


Tips
There’s a difference between being yourself and being rude. You might have your opinions, dreams, and preferences, but so does everybody else. You don’t have to disrespect people who disagree with you in order to be yourself; they’re not you.
If fads or trends strike your fancy, don’t avoid them! Being yourself is all about reflecting who you are inside in what you do, and what you like is what you like, no matter how trendy it is (or not trendy, for that matter)!
As the famous song goes, “Life’s not worth a damn until you can say, I am what I am” - when you can sincerely say it, you will know that you can be yourself.
If you don’t agree on what people express as an opinion you don’t need to argue their point or be rude about it, and don’t just act like you agree either because then you would be acting falsely.
Even if you are interested in something that most people aren’t interested in don’t be afraid or hide it, stand up and show your true inner self. People will know how confident you are.
Don’t worry about anything but being yourself and living life to the fullest!
These tips can be internalized and appreciated by learning to give maximum priority to 1. What you like maximally 2. What satisfies you for maximum time and 3. What can be shared with maximum people. This process goes on simultaneously with your blossoming which also goes on continuously [Cf: Namasmaran: Dr. Shriniwas Kashalikar]!


Warnings
Just because you don’t care about how people perceive you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be aware of it, especially in situations where being yourself might be misinterpreted. For example, you might enjoy being friendly and flirtatious, but in some cultures, that might be perceived as a sexual invitation, and you could get yourself in trouble.
Don’t lose yourself when you’re with other friends. Be yourself. Don’t be someone else so other people will like you because, in the end, you end up hurting other people and losing yourself.
Don’t think that being yourself means that you cannot change who you are. You want to be a person that you can be proud of, so if there is some way you can improve yourself, go for it. Don’t allow your shortcomings to discourage you, but don’t ignore them either.
Make sure that you can show the same “you” to everyone consistently. If you feel the need to be secretive about something wrong you’ve done, you are not really being yourself; it will show and misunderstandings will occur. Do what’s right. You cannot truly be yourself unless you can face yourself.
Keep in mind that ‘being yourself’ is not always the right thing to do. Would you tell a despicable person to just be himself and not change a thing? No. Most of the time when people in general perceive you a certain way, it means you don’t fit in to your society. Whether you WANT to fit in or not is up to you, but you are only setting yourself up for trouble when you neglect society’s ways. (That is, unless you decide to live in a cave for the rest of your life.)
That said, obviously nobody is perfect. However, if you are outrageously flawed (for example, have a short temper) then you should look into some self-improvement rather than ignoring everyone’s cues and ‘being yourself.’ Don’t deny yourself of the truth by saying it’s everyone else’s problem and not yours. You’ll only be hurting yourself in the long run.

Hot Pinoy videos

Imoral

This movie seems interesting… but how will it be different from other gay-slanted ‘threesome’ movies — Pusong Mamon, Sikil, Troika, and Ang Lalake Sa Parola? Let’s watch and see!


* * *

A man…
His wife…
His other man…
A different kind of love triangle…

Paolo Paraiso makes his big screen transition via “Imoral” opposite Katherine Luna and Arnold Reyes with Edgar Allan Guzman. The film is directed by Adolfo Alix, Jr. and from the same team that brought the Indiesine hit “Daybreak” and the 2008 Cinemalaya opening film “Adela.”

A lot of people put a high priority on monogamy in a relationship. However, there are rare instances when the couple agrees to have an open relationship, allowing the participants to take other partners. Written by Gerry Gracio (”Santa-Santita”), “Imoral” tackles the dynamics of the relationship between a husband, his wife and his lover as they all live in one house. Paolo portrays the bisexual taxi driver who divides his time between his lover and his wife, Katherine is a former waitress who is now selling beauty products for a living, and Arnold Reyes plays the engineer and nurturing lover of Paraiso. By living with such an arrangement, the three lovers become the target of the community. Things take a drastic turn when Dante (Paraiso) sees a bag full of money inside his taxi. Now that they have money, will they still decide to stay together or go their separate ways?


“Imoral’s” first cut was screened to a jumpacked crowd during the 2008 Cinemalaya Film Festival last July. The cast also includes veteran actress Perla Bautista, acclaimed indie actor Kristoffer King, theater actress Adriana Agcaoili and Cherry Madrigal in a very special role.

Serbis

Brillante Ma. Mendoza's latest film, "Serbis" (2008), may not even come close to the comparative brilliance of recent Filipino films like Jeffrey Jeturian's "Kubrador", Emmanuel dela Cruz' "Sarong banggi" and, yes, even Chito Rono's "Sukob", but it's still a curious work. For what the film lacks in plot and character development, which are really severely wanting, can be justly compensated by its prescribed milieu, which stands out as a character in itself--the movie theater run by the filmic family (no less named as "Family Theater").

With its dirty and dank hallways, its vandalized walls, its crumpled and faded movie posters, its hideously flooded and murky toilet, its duplicitous screening and projection room, not to mention its regular throng of patrons who may or may not be "there" for the featured film itself and the always-prevalent traffic and crowd noise outside, "Serbis" could've been made--or could be watched--just for this run-down and out-of-luck movie theater. (If this were a good, old classic silent film, then I could've mistaken it as a film about the theater itself.)

Mendoza may have seen--or at least, may have been aware of--Jacques Nolot's "Porn Theater" and Tsai Ming-liang's "Goodbye, Dragon Inn", which his film quite approximates in terms of setting and concern. But even then, "Serbis" doesn't have the self-criticizing humor of the former and the existential elegy of the latter, qualities which, in fairness to Mendoza, he may not have the intention of lending to his film. It's because from the looks of it (I mean literally), "Serbis" may be one of the many far-down-the-way descendants and variations of the Neo-Realist School of Thought (Naturalism, Abjection, Spontaneity, etc). But even then, unlike many of the best works from that venerated film-making method ("La Terra Trema", "The Bicycle Thief", "Shoeshine", "Salaam, Bombay!", "A Woman Under the Influence", "Rosetta", "Riff-Raff", even our own "Insiang", etc), his film actually eludes the capability of being situated in a wider social and political context, not even in a remote manner. Perhaps again, that's something that Mendoza may not even be set on achieving.

To put it bluntly, "Serbis" escapes any explanation, logical or otherwise. To say that it threads on naturalism is to state the obvious. To say that it borders on the absurd is to overstate the matter. To say that it has a radical agenda being rallied is to make the point moot and academic. But then, to dismiss the film as pointless and inconsequential is to underappreciate Mendoza's efforts in coming up with a "different" film like this. I say different in that while it's too lightweight to be considered an "art" film, it's too deliberate to be regarded as "trash" as well. (It wouldn't be selected for competition in this year's Cannes film festival if it didn't have "something" going for it, I guess.)

Still, I don't get it why some of the Cannes press and even the MTRCB here would be so bothered as to express aghast at some of the film's "disgusting" and "explicit" scenes. I contend that a couple of nude and sex scenes are just plain gratuitous, but the "disgusting" scenes being specified by the press are not even worth mentioning as to merit controversy. In themselves, these scenes just don't add up to a film that's already not meant to cohere. "Serbis" is definitely no "Irreversible" and "Humanite".

What can be a source of comfort is the fact that even works of disappointment do have their choice moments of saving grace. In this scant film's case, it's the selected portrayals of Gina Pareno, Jaclyn Jose and, yes, Coco Martin. If these actors are even "acting" in the film, that I don't know. Whenever Gina and Jaclyn (the beleaguered mother and daughter proprietors of the seedy cinema) are in the frame, they really command such a thespic presence, without them exerting so much effort (if there's one), even having themselves willingly sailed (I mean literally) through the muck and mire of the film. The same goes for Coco (the aimless son of the older proprietor), specifically with regards to the factor of being "dirtied" by the film. His character rarely utters a word in the film;most of the time, he's just seen doing "something", quietly and intently. But it's in such activities, I hope, that we get to have a glean of his mental and emotional state--like in the slow and long scene where he cleans the hopelessly recoverable cinema toilet (a part of his being "dirtied" by the film). Even the decried scene where he successfully pops a painful buttock pus using a cola bottle gets to signify a kind of self-epiphany (which leads to his ultimate detachment from his family by the film's end)!

Sadly, such choice moments of portrayal are still undermined by the fact that Armando Lao's script doesn't allow them to become fully-rounded characters as for the viewers to really feel their plight. These characters are made to appear as nothing more than like the strangers and acquaintances who we meet fleetingly and randomly in real life and then care for no more afterwards. If the fairly dignified thespic chops of Gina, Jaclyn and Coco are still led to feel that way, then what more of the other characters? This but true--like the projectionist character of Kristoffer King who is there just to be given a rough blow job by one of the theater's gay patrons and the ticket-booth attendant character of Mercedes Cabral who is there just to brazenly pose in nude in front of the mirror at the film's start. But then, didn't I mention earlier that "Serbis" could be just about the theater itself?

In itself, "Serbis" is a graphic and natural document of a Filipino slice-of-life, but not enough as to become a true piece of cinematic provocation and radicalness as what the majority of films being shown in Cannes are meant to be.

Ang Lihim Ni Antonio

It’s the story of a gay 15-year old and the random events that happen in his life. That’s all there is to it. A falling out of friendship after drunken sex; coming out to another friend; living with a compassionate but broken mother; reaching out to an absentee father; and the arrival of a hunk uncle. The plots don’t exactly bleed into one another in a satisfying, cause-and-effect, or thematic fashion. Collectively, they paint a portrait of a coming of age that is incoherent, and maybe that’s the point.

Antonio spends a lot of time asking questions in his head. (We hear them as voice-overs.) It’s an existential journey that ends in senseless tragedy — where else? (The ending is a gay twist on the classic Insiang.) Maybe, the movie is saying, the meaning of life — and of being gay — is that it doesn’t mean anything. It’s a strong statement in our age of self-importance, when, in an increasingly liberated environment, we make so much fuss about our sexuality.

The movie’s main fault is that it doesn’t really make us care about any of this. Antonio is a walking empty shell. None of what he does, or what happens to him, seems to have any gravity. What keeps us watching is not that he’s interesting, but that the occurances are familiar to us as gay men who’ve been there before or at least heard stories about it. Sure, I giggled at the memory of wearing somebody’s used underwear on my face, but what was so special about that scenario, really? I got tired of scenes unfolding without distinctiveness or consequence. I stayed on my seat mainly because I already know uberstud Josh Ivan Morales will eventually flash his hefty manhood and that he will finally do it with cute newcomer Kenjie Garcia. It was just a matter of when.

Lihim was created by the same team as last year’s sensational Ang Lalake Sa Parola, but it lacks that film’s central provocative idea and the dirty allure of exploitative filmmaking. Lihim takes a more serious (read: dry) approach (just look at mother Shamaine Buencamino’s serious acting), but doesn’t have the serious meat with which to fill it. It’s unremarkable cinema that gets by on expectation.

Lahat tayo may kanya kanyang lihim,lahat tayo may katanungang pilit hinahanapan ng kasagutan, kung minsan ang mga katanungang yun ay mananatili nalang tanung hindi natin alam kung kaylan ang takdang panahon para sa bawat kasagutan… tulad ni Antonio isang tauhan sa pelikulang napanuod ko marami din gumugulong katanungan dito sa isip at puso ko at hanggang ngayun pilit ko parin hinahanap ang sagot… tulad ni Antonio ilang beses ko din tinanong ang sarili ko sa mga sensetibong bagay na ito at sa pagdaan ng panahon unti unti kong naiintindihan kung bakit ganito…kung bakit ganun….pero bakit kaya minsan alam mo na pero ang hirap paring intindihin….

Tulad ni Antonio ang bawat lihim nya ay lihim ko din….isang realidad ng buhay na minsan ko ng tinakasan at itinataboy… pero anu ang magagawa ko hindi ko hawak ang pagtibok ng puso ko, hindi ko madiktahan ang sarili ko…ang dali magbigay ng payo sa isang kaibigan pero pag sarili mo na minsan kahit alam mo na ang tama pero dapat kaylangan mo pang marinig ito sa isang kaibigan para mas maunawaan… ganun ba talaga ang tao kaylangan ng isang kaibigang uunawa at iintindi para maging mas madali….

Tulad ni Antonio tinanung ko din sa sarili ko kung bakit hindi tayo nagkaroon ng choice sa buhay natin… walang choice kung anung pagkatao ang gusto natin… itinakda ba ng panahon at pagkakataon kung sino ang magiging pamilya natin at kung anung uri ng buhay magkakaroon tayo… sa age ko ngyun na 30 huli na ba ang mga katanungang ito? Dapat sa age na 35 kilala ko ng ng lubos ang sarili ko coz kung hindi anu na ang magyayri sa akin… hindi ko nga alam kung anu ba talaga ang pakay ko sa mundong ito….hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nandito at kung anu ang role ko sa buhay ng mga taong nakikilala ko… to make them happy and leave mark…and then what’s next?
sino ba ako sa napakalaking mundong ito?

Sa teleserye ko ako ang bida…bidang patuloy inaalam ang hiwaga ng buhay….ang bida sa teleserye minsan nasasaktan, minsan umiiyak at minsan naman naghahatid ng saya sa iba… anu ang ending? Wala pa…dahil sa isang teleserye maraming tauhan ang susulpot at magpapakilala sa bida at magsisimulang maging kabahagi sa buhay ng bida….

Bida ako na nawawala…tulad ni Antonio, nawawala sya… ngayon ko lang narinig na pag may gusto kang hanapin ang santo na si Antonio daw ang dapat tawagin para mahanap mo ang hinahanap mo… tulad ni Antonio pumasok din sa isip ko eh pano kung yung mismong nawawala ang tumatawag sa kanya…pano yun…mahahanap ba ng taong ito ang sarili nya?…

Tulad nya siguro balang araw malalaman ko din ang bawat tanung ko,,mabibigyan ng bawat kasagutan ang mga bagay bagay na nagpapagulo sakin…

Nasaan Ang Swerte?

August 08, 2008

888! Many people think this is a lucky number. And this is the date for today. And they think they will become lucky today. That's why so many people have gone to the lotto outlets to bet their lucky numbers. Businessmen were excited to open their business on this date. Marami ang nag-iisip, whatever field they're into, there will be full of blessings and fortunes.
But behind all these beliefs, iniisip ko rin sarili ko. Magiging maswerte rin kaya ako sa araw na 'to? Sa lahat kaya ng aspeto ng buhay magkaroon ako ng magagandang kapalaran? Sa gitna ng mga tanong na'to hinahanap ko ang sarili ko kung saan ako aakma at kung kanino at kelan ko mahahanap ang sinasabi nilang swerte sa araw na ito?
Where do am I? Nasaan ga ba ako? Kahit aong lengguwahe pa ang gamitin ko sa paghahanap ng swerte, the bottom line is, makakmtan ko kaya ito? Matatagpuan ko kaya ito?
Ako? I am putting myself not just in one corner. Marami namang corner, eh. Paglabas ko ng kwarto hindi lang apat na sulok ang makikita ko. Sa unang hakbang ko pa lang paglabas ng pintuan, marami nang direksyon ang aking makikita na kailangan kong puntahan. At sa sobra ngang dami hindi ko na alam alin ang dapat kong unahin.
Kung minsan, o di kaya'y tamang sabihing kadalasan, ang pagpili ng tamang landas ay nakalilito. Hindi, mo kasi alam kung anong tinatahak mo. Wala kang katiyakan. Lahat na lang nang uang hakbang, pagbabakasakali ang nasa isip mo. "Sana ito na ang tamang daan". "Sana swertehin ako rito". "Sana pagdating ko sa dulo, may lilingunin akong magandang alaala sa aking nakaraan at masasabi kong sa wakas, nagtagumpay rin ako".
Sana nga ganun! Tulad nga ng sabi ko sa Friendster shoutout ko- "It is better to try but failed, than to fail without trying at all".
Napakagandang slogan. Kaya nga yan ang ginagawa ko kadalasan. Pero yun na nga, I'm always trying...and everytime I tried, I always did my best...but still...everything is ended up with failures! Pero sabi nga nila, sa bawat failures daw, there's a blessing in disguise. Dahil kung nagiging successful lang ako sa buhay, wala ako ngayon dito. Hindi ako makakapagsulat nang ganito. At higit sa lahat, hindi ako makapag-create ng sarili kong blog dito sa internet. Aba siyempre ibang pinagkakaabalahan ko ngayon. Pero hindi pa rin naman ako sumusuko. Sabi nga ng ilan- "Try and try until you succeed.
Pero sa ngayon, sa katayuan ko bilang isang trabahante sa isang pipitsugin at nalalaos ng kumpanya, hindi pa muna ako makakagawa ng ibang hakbang. Feeling ko, para akong nasa kulungan. Parang hindi ako malaya sa kinatatayuan ko ngayon. Gusto kong kumawala. At alam kong wala namang makakapagpigil sa akin kapag ginawa kong kumawala, eh. Kaya lang, feeling ko may isang bahagi ng aking pagkatao na pumipigil sa kung anumang binabalak ko. Hindi ko lang matukoy kung ano yun. Kunsabagay, feeling ko lang naman lahat ng ito, eh.
Ang buhay ko katulad din ng aking pagkatao. Hindi alam anong pipiliin. Nakakulong pa rin. Kasi....pag nakawala...marami ang masasaktan. Yun ay kung may masasaktan. Kung may manghihinayang... pag may nakatuklas. Pero katulad pa rin nga ng sabi ko, lahat ng ito,... feeling ko lang. May totoo... at sana may hindi totoo.

The Mysterious Guys

What Do They Have in Common?


CHAD ABARQUEZThe Romantic Guy
He is sweet, simple, loving guy. Pinaka-unang na-encounter ko in this cyberworld. Very young yet curious sa kanyang pagkatao. Fourth year high school pa lang ang batang ito. Pero mukhang mas marami nang karanasan kesa sa akin. Oo. Karansan... sa boys. Kasi ayaw naman daw niyang pumatol sa girls. Di raw niya type. But he's a straight-acting guy. Kung sa biglang tingin ay hindi mo mahalatang berde rin ang dugo ng batang ito. Malaking bulas kasi. Mas matangkad sa akin ng 5 inches. Pero ang "asset"...lamang ako. Three to Four inches lang ata sa kanya. Kung may isang pelikula na maihahalintulad ko sa buhay niya, yun ay walang iba kundi "Ang Lihim ni Antonio" Siya si Antonio sa kanyang riyalidad. Ang kaibahan nga lang, si antonio sa pelikula ay hindi nagpapatira sa puwet. Sa kanya, yun ang gusto niya. Hindi kumpleto ang sex sa kanya kapag hindi siya natira sa likod.


MARK LORENZThe Big Person.
He was a "sakristan" in one of the churches here in Cebu. Pero sa ngayon, inactive na raw siya. Meron kasi siyang organization na sinasalihan. And he is the leader of that group which makes me proud of him. But its a good organization naman na tiyak makakatulong sa kanya to become a better person. Pero kabaligtaran siya ni Chad. Bansot kasi ang batang ito. (Sorry for that term). Pero sabi nga height doesn't matter. E, ano. May maipagmamalaki naman siyang "asset". Dun siya nakabawi. Almost six inches yata ang kaangkinan nito sa height niyang five feet lang. Ang ayaw niya, yung mga pa-girls, efem, at obvious. Nasusuka siya.


MIGOBI RANDALMr One Night Stand
One night stand lang kami nito. I was the one who insisted to meet him. During that time kasi, nagbreak-up kami ng girlfriend ko. I got his number in one of the visited gay site here. I sent him a message and he replied then. Eleven evening na yun when we met in a pension house along Manalili street. I was drunk pa naman but still it was clear for me to see him personally. Medyo chubby siya in person. At dito ko na-realized na totoong maliit nga ang "asset" ng isang chubby guy. Ayokong lahatin pero sana nga nagkamali ako. Kasi kung ire-rate ko ang kanya--- 3 inches lang. Sa ngayon wala na kaming communication nito. I tried to call him pero mukhang hindi na niya ginagamit number niya.


RED DEVIL 23The Unexpected
It was an unexpected meeting. Actually, halos sabay ko silang na-meet ni Mark. Nung time kasi na nag-eyeball kami ni Mark, di pa namin siya kilala nun. Kung di ko siya inayang manood muna ng sine sa downtown area instead of going to a lodge directly, hindi namin ito makikilala. At nalaman namin na member din pala siya sa gaysite na yun. Pero hindi na ganito ang itsura niya sa picture. Semikal na ang drama ng lolo. Pagdating sa kanya "asset", Bonggacious! Pinakamalaki sa nakilala ko!

My Diary

August 3, 2008

It was Sunday. I was expecting my day would be very busy since it is a holiday, and a famliy day to most people. And perhaps a religious day since most of the people are going to church. But for us who work in a chicken grilled house are quite busy during these days. That was my expectations. And that is what I thoughtwould be happen this day.

But I was wrong. Yes. Business is still operating. And daily habits are still working as a routine. Buy a few pieces chilled chicken in a department store or in a supplier. But t'was just a few pieces- just enough to operate to four active stores: Mabolo, Lahug, Wireless, and Lacion. We buy only few because we are only depending to the cash we have on hand.

Meaning, we're just doing the same thing over and over again. The sales we have in the morning will be collected to buy another goods wether in Makro or Mlhuillier. It depends on how many are sold, its amount is the only cash we can buy. The more, the plenty. The less- no comment! As long as there is a money that we can exchange for goods.

That same thing happened up to the evening. But it was a kinda hectic sked for me. I do have important meetings to attend to before 6pm. But the time we have in work does not commensurate to my scheduled meeting. I asked permission to my employer that I will be out at 5pm. Going to the church was my given reason so that he will allow me to go.

How important my meeting is? Well, all I can say is that it can evaluate my inner feelings, my decisions, what's my real score about my lovelife! Yes, I had a meeting with Christine. She was my girlfriend. I said "was" because we had just broke up just a month ago. Andnow we are going to meet again. For old time sake? Maybe. But no. I'm just giving back her clothes she left in Alcoy when she went there along with me wayback October and November 2007. (You can read the details of our relationship in the following page "What about my lovelife").